Here

Solemn ties around the perpetual myth

of grandiosity orchestrate the belief

that self-assurance tells a story of

what had to be overcome to get here.

“Here”

marks the stage

where the brink of havoc and chaos is measured

by the slight temperament of attention-seeking.

“Here”,

with unyielding honesty,

paves an imaginary road to unexpected redemption.

“Here”,

where the creed “I think, therefore, I am” inks itself

into the spine of before and after thoughts.

“Here”

where laughter over the incredulous

leads to perplexed thought

"Here"

where the apology river flows

into a bay of forgiveness

"Here"

is somewhere,

neither here nor there,

but only in the throes of our truth.

Your faultless laughter

coursed through my spine again.

I thirst for the wisdom

your innocence brings.

Your effortless glow is existential in a way.

As I am always submerged in the absurdity of the absurd,

that smile can sometimes be seen as something unreal.

It's breathtaking. . .

your confidence

of knowing all to well

you could never be

one of them.

Them who shook me

out of my own

unfettered core.

Them who wanted

to iron out the kink

of my spiraling

thoughts. . .

in and around

and around again.

Them who always

threw me into

the earth's fault line

without even questioning

the screams that

pelted into me.

Them who never could

muster a nod

to who I was

and could be. . .

to me, myself and I.

I wanted to crawl

out of my victim's hole

to lay the soft skin of my hand

down to the fulcrum of your touch.

If I could size my past down

to appeal to your outer eye

I would.

Would your wide eyed

gaze still catch me?

Would my hair still

feel like the rawness

of untouched silk?

Would my golden complexion

still ignite

the embers of your soul?

Would my non-judgemental eyes

still pave a labyrinth

of purity

into your starving heart?

Would my ten tone laughter

melt your iced up edges

or send shivers down your spine?

Maybe we can meet halfway?

A moment of your blank minded stare

can find a way into my fire starter heart.

We can walk hand in hand

to a new and fresh start.

The tilted corner of your wise smile

makes me wonder about the

held back tears

behind those darkened eyes.

It could only be the two of us

piecing together

the weight of your wasted youth trial.

You still steal my mind

in the cross of his guise.

We almost were

a double sunrise.

I lived to see you and me

but who could ask you

to see past

my rainbow glazed sea.

My dark nights

had all the layers

you sought to find

in a beggar's plea.

I kept it locked

with a rusted bolt.

It could never be a love song,

just a forgettable plot.

I could never

utter the lover's words I sought.

But I love to see

your brand of happy faults.

Till this renewed day

I'd give up mine to hand you yours

in some beautiful way

With the time scented say

your deep entrenched

heart still lights up my May.

You will always own your night.

You can never forget your flight.

You will see new stars

and bask in its light.

Our 19 year old hearts

didn't know a clean edged sight.

It could only learned

with an more entrenched might.

But your strong will always belong

to my poet's delight.

When the sun goes down

it screams finality.

When its embers ring high

it gets harder to breathe.

As the pale moonlight

packs away the light of day,

one has to wonder

who gets the final say.

But the star lined clouds

look more alive tonight

than the sharpness

of yesterday's hindsight.

And as that troubled owl

begins to sing

my ten cent resolve

ain't barely but a thing.

The sleepy waters

bear its ripple effect

when tomorrow doesn't know

today's derelict.

I can steal a new sun

through the night's empty run.

Just feel it pitched slow

and let me have this one.

Letting go of that one edge of time

from familiar faces

and dead end places

to what isn't joyfully mine.

Time to own a new night.

The sleeping birds sing my song.

You reach for my hand

and the night always says "so long."