Here; Alone and Wanting

by Charlie Penney 2 months ago in sad poetry

you want to want anything other than what you have

Here; Alone and Wanting

i.

everyone in town has secrets

his are the only you want to know

want to hold them in your hands

the way he holds the baby bird

wings broken

it’s first flight unsuccessful

you watch carefully from a safe distance

as he brings the creature to his mouth

he is tender

just as he is when he puts his hand on your arm

sitting together on your front porch

he implies often that he will have to leave soon

and you wish he had wings you could break

make him end his life here

the way you will

ii.

you swim in the cold lake at night

and he can stay underwater longer than you

you’re tempted to hold him down

you want to see his slender body bloated

pictures of his corpse in terrible quality on your small television

for you to mull over as you eat your breakfast

you want to want anything other than what you have

his body beside yours in the bed later on

as you pretend to be asleep

trying to find a flaw in his form

as he pretends to sleep too

pretends to not notice you

iii.

he cooks you breakfast one morning

eggs are already on the table when

you wake up alone in your bed

secretly wishing—

seeing the other side of the bed empty—

that he had finally gone for good

he has only made one plate

he watches you eat—

that angers you

he does not take even a bite—

that angers you

the eggs are delicious—

that angers you

you do not tell him of your anger

you thank him for the food

and on your drive to work

as you turn it over and over in your mind

your anger softens

you fear that softness

but when you return home

and he has already made dinner

you succumb to the softness

and enjoy

sad poetry
Charlie Penney
Charlie Penney
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