Happy Birthday

She is turning 11 years old she is tall and so smart,

I love her like she's my own daughter,

But my daughter, Dakota, was born but died on that same day a year ago,

It makes me feel happy knowing my two amazing beautiful girls,

share the same day. But it tears me apart all the same,

Its very hard to celebrate a birthday,

And still mourn the loss of our daughter,

To look at my niece and see all I wanted for our Dakota.

To see what will come of one and not for my baby, ever.

Knowing full well we have to accept our fate,

to NEVER have our child.

Loss is hard for anyone,

I have lost two children with no explanation,

And NO, I can not and will NOT "Just get over it."

Could you so easily if you were in my place?

Wanting forever to be a mom,

Go into labor early, and see your baby,

Dead in front of you?

It kills you.

Forever, I am changed,

I have an anger from all the pain and torment,

My husband and I have been put through in this horror called "Life".

I keep telling myself "Calm down and breathe."

But ignorant and judgemental know it all people,

Better stay the HELL away from me.

I have had enough with all the crap.

No longer am I taking it.

If you can question someones pain,

It says a lot about who you are in this life.