Grief

Heidi

Heidi , Can I see you.

Can I hold you. I didn’t get to kiss you.

All we had was our promises.

And those summer days that came and past.

Can I laugh with you again?

When did the days become so dark?

I hadn’t noticed in our childhood youth.

When you left- I couldn’t believe it.

I just never saw you again.

All I saw was a red balloon.

Fading away into a dimming sky.

You’re still there. I lost my best friend.

Maybe that’s why I love brown eyes.

Maybe I’m constantly searching for you.

Maybe that’s why I keep running.

Running into stranger’s arms.

Because they’re not really strangers.

They’re you.

Hello

Had my soul been crying out for so long it had become a beacon?

Only would it take some a while to find me, as I was so far away.

It had been a rough grey day when the brown and white butterfly , came and fluttered close by.

Catching my blue eyes, it spoke to me as it danced around.

My body twirling around and around, a smile tugging . A once sad frown.

I knew who had come to see me.

Had they remembered me after passing?

Her name tugged on my lips, and echoed in my thoughts.

She had come to say ‘hello’.

Maybe to silently remind me ,

That there is somehow meaning in life.

Even when loved ones,

Pass on.

Honesty

The brown and white butterfly,

Flew around the room It clutched onto the white wall,

Where it stayed for three days.

I feared it would die, but it would not move.

It watched the fight between my father and I.

It heard the cries that ensued,

It saw me dance and sing when I was in tune.

It saw me grow, as an old lover came bounding- Trying to come back into my life.

It watched my turmoil,

The decisions I would make- I asked myself “do you love him”

I spoke the truth, but the answer was ony because I was afraid of love.

Then the butterfly flew away, as I stood in the open doorway.

It was right,

It was waiting for my honesty.