Go Back

I wanna go back.

away from the pain,

away from the bad,

to happier moments,

to where there isnt this fuzzy line that divides us from each other..

to where you were mine.

where i was yours..

where we laughed, cried.

and just saw eye to beautiful eye.

where we could talk.

hug, hold , and just be.

i cant tell you how i miss you,

i cant tell you how much i just want you.

the distance between where you are and my mind frame

seems to always make things harder.

will it change?

is time really the key to every thing.?

i want to go back.

to where songs had meanings,

promises were never broken..

and words meant things and werent empty,

where good friends and good food were not so hard to come by,

where we could sit and talk for hours with out having to say goodbye.

where good night wasnt just meant as a conversation ending but you actually meant it.

i want so much to just go back to that time.

when you left nothing was the same.

things changed.

winter got colder,

spring wasnt as pretty,

summer just got hotter not better,

and the leaves in fall just seem to be dimmer with out you here.

if we could talk.

it would be for hours not just minutes..

time would fly by but be slow at the same time.

we would never be bored

we would go play.

phones wouldnt be a problem.

life would be happier.

cause we would be together.

we wouldnt have this distance.

i wouldnt have to envy that your far off in a better place.

and i wouldnt feel as though i can only suffer.

that balance would return and i wouldnt be so scared.

i know you would be there to help me up.

i wouldnt be alone ,

and i know i would have you on my side.

we had our ups and we had our downs but some times i think

you were the only one that understood me ...

and i loved you to much to care about the bad that it was almost blinding.

I would tell you about your grandkids and how i tried.

but i wasnt woman enough to handle it.

that i had tried and now im afraid to fail.

that mom isnt here when i need her the most..

and that my sister hates my guts,

things got worse since you left

mom says im just like you. but i wouldnt know.

i tried to break the chains that were put on me

and even though i think i did.. i feel guilty deep inside.

i miss the games , the laughs, the talks, how you were broken but still you tried.

and now im broken and feel dead inside.

i want to go back..

things to be the same but never worse.

for times to be good when we would play DnD

where i was innocent but not scared.

where i could stand up for not just others but my self too.

but lately things are just to damn blue.

i wanna go back

can you please bring me back.?