getaway

I woke up

Put on my swimsuit

Rubbed sunscreen all over my body

Walked through the warm sand

Laid out my towel on the shore

I stretched out

Feeling the heat of the sun

Hug my scar covered skin

Tan skin.

Sea Salt smell.

Cool waves crashing .

Sun is shining.

Not a cloud in the sky.

But I was still alone.

It’s 9 am

I’m on vacation

Why am I face planted

In the sand

Covered in snot

Tears

Refusing to let up

I’m posting selfies left and right

Like I’m happy

But they’re just selfies

Self

Im watching

As they all snap their photos

Together

Hold hands

Together

Rub sunscreen

Together

I don’t belong with this group

Of people.

I’m not in the pictures anyways.

He took her to the beach last week

Like he never took me

I thought when my family planned this trip

Surely things will be

different

Surely

I won’t be alone

By then

I always say that

This time will be

Different

It never is

I’m always crying

In a different part

Of the world

Some things

You can’t

get away

From