Frozen mind

The sounds of raindrops on my window begin to fade…

I guess the rain came to a stop….. I sit on my bed curled up in a ball and with a full force I pull my covers over my head….

My thoughts are scrumming through my head….make it stop…. Make it stop…… I just can’t… feeling as if my head is exploding and slowly opening…… I shed tear after tear that just drips down onto my pillow…. Thinking about if I should just stop it all right now or continue on the dangerous road with many turns and just end up letting it get to the better of me….. I feel as if I’m driving on a highway snd every car is just rear ending me and eventually I’m gonna start to speed miles per hour not giving a total clue what’s about to happen and eventually just give out…. I can’t anymore the cars creep up on me from no where and I just can’t handle the short stops anymore….. I can’t deal with the pain I can’t take the buckle tightening up against my neck, okay okay I say take a deep breathe….

I just can’t my chest is hurting…… my body is shivering I keep on getting this excruciating pain through my back that creeps up toward my neck up to my jaw up to my eyes… I feel as if I’m a doll by now…. Can’t move a muscle I sit here on the shelf as stiff as I can be.. I feel by now I’m a broken disheveled doll sitting on the shelf……