For All the Men Who Heal Different
Feel you...
I couldn’t fit you in to my broken-ness
so I buried it instead
Placed smiles and flowers on the outside while the inside filled with dread
And I whispered in your ears sweet nothings
and praised you for your dreams
while my heart and soul were shaking under the weight of such extremes
I watched your wings unfolding
so ready for first flight
How could I show then the chains that held me fast in darkest night?
Golden sun upon your countenance
Royalty truly yours by birth
A gift without exception bequeathed to all but forgotten is my worth
We’ve shared so much;
our bodies and souls,
but have never shed a tear
So...
...
I’m wondering if my broken parts exposed will cause you fear ...
I was abused when I was eight
and never told a soul
I’ve struggled with feeling dirty inside
and of course that takes a toll
Years of burden upon a boy for whom manhood was required
but counsel, healing and a shoulder to cry on is what the boy desired
I just wasn’t the same after that as my parents continued to fight
In my mind,
if I told I’d make things worse
but things were never right
It began a pattern of cover up to hold close the ones I loved
No happy endings for broken men that’s why my hands stayed gloved
No expressions of pity please, don’t want your eyes reflecting my downfall
No thinking less of me,
clichés or rules
as that just won’t help at all
As I push through my pain, hold me____don’t cringe if I should punch the wall
I have to take my power back
so don’t catch me when I fall
It’s part of the healing process for me that I’ve left for far too late
And I’m taking this process seriously___working for a truly clean black slate
I just need you to be my woman
yielding and magical like the moon
So that I can be your man
with positive adjustments coming soon
Be patient with me; a work in progress
and I promise this, I do
Should darkness enter and overwhelm your life
I’ll be there
for only you
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