First

You know the feeling where you’re looking into their eyes, and the world just slows down? Everyone else disappears whether you’re in a crowded room, or an empty hallway, but that one person is still there. Keep in mind, their eyes are melting into yours as well. Your heart doesn’t sink but instead evaporates into the world while those five seconds feel like three. Then comes two and one. Someone looks away and you’re pouring yourself another glass of wine, trying to cure the damage hours later. Trying to cure the monstrous thought in your head that nothing was ever really there. That the certain person you craved eventually got lost in the crowd that disappeared and you no longer looked into those brown eyes, or that red hair, or even that warm smile. You realize this was the last time you would ever see your first, heart pounding on your bare palms, trying to breathe but something is weighing you down. Your chest won’t crack and it’s constantly being filled with heavy rocks, and suddenly you can’t move. Suddenly, along with your heart, your body aches for the person you’re never going to see again. All you could do is live with it. All you could do is watch your world shatter, wanting the one thing you could never really completely have. Years go by, but your first always destructs the most.