Desire

Motivation

It is half desire

half necessity

I am motivated by my longing to use my voice

to empower others

to help those who need guidance

to set an example of integrity

But the necessity to live forces me to abandon my path

I walk away from a road few have tread but many have looked upon

so that I can sit on the side of the highway with the masses

watching as life passes me by

with my happiness in the passenger seat

I have been forced to set aside uplifting those who look to me in their moment of need

and instead watch as those by my side make them their victims

we are sharks

feeding in an ocean of insecure tears

I have parted ways with my desires

They now sit on my night stand

waiting to snuggle up next to me at night

and pat me on the back

as I cry myself to sleep

My motivation wanes

I left a part of myself at the office I call home

as I walked out the door for the final time today

I think it was somewhere in that mess

I give in to a new motivation

Working from nine to nine to pay bills

One tenth desire

Nine tenths necessity

I am broken

My suit and tie is my shield from morality

Screaming

Begging to be let out

Why can’t I break free

I am now three halves desire

Longing to let my dreams once again be a part of me

to walk away from this nightmare

and find my motivations where they should be

one half desire

and only one half

necessity