Demons and Dragons

My heart aches for you. For the internal struggles you are fighting; the demons that are rising and the dragons that aren't being slayed in your mind. Your past is haunting you now more than ever and my heart aches for you. It aches for those times I stood by your side, willing to go to Hell and back; willing to be that princess in shining armour with her sword drawn.

It aches as it should. My heart has been broken down and played with so many times, but all it ever wanted was to help you. I now realize that you could never have seen my true intentions and accepted the help I was trying to give. Your mind is tainted and manipulates your words and actions to do harm. The reality is; you harm others because you want to harm yourself. You harm those that love you because you do not love yourself. You do not feel worthy of any form of real love and therefore seek refuge in those who are just as dangerous as you; those that fight their own demons at night and are pushed forth in this world with cruel intentions. For this my heart aches.

I tried to heal you with the best tool I could offer: love. I know now however, that the power of love to heal must start with one's self-love. Only when love from within is present, can any outside love enhance another's healing.

I ache for all my lost time and one-sided fighting I had done, as it only left my heart with battle wounds. I was not fighting my own fight and suffered your scrapes and scars. I know you will never fully understand this, as you want to be wounded. So as I continue my journey, my heart aches for your soul, surrounded by those demons and dragons wanting to take you down further. They want to keep you in a dark place of self-hatred and despair. Their presence was strong and I too have felt the wrath.

Scrambling to get back up again I have grabbed onto the rope now with both my hands. I tried and tried to climb with your hand in mine, but you were not gripping back. You were not wanting to be saved. I will continue my climb to reach the top and I hope that one day you will too. The demons and dragons are inside your head, the struggles are internally yours and nothing from the outside can penetrate those walls: you are the gatekeeper. Only when you are ready to face those struggles openly and honestly with yourself, will the gates be unlocked and love let in to heal.

Only when you let in your own love will you start to be saved.