Dear Housemates

Dear housemates,

I came home again this morning,

And couldn’t help but smell the stench

Of the food stains that were left

Across the kitchen bench.

.

I know it seems obscure,

But to wipe it once or twice,

May help you to procure

A house that has no mice.

.

There were dishes in the sink,

And floors were left upswept,

Your clothes were on the ground,

And the living room was left unkept.

.

It’s come to my attention

That the dog is more hygienic,

And that there’s no intention

To make the place more scenic.

.

You survive off Uber Eats,

And I do not mean to judge,

But if you could throw out the trash when finished,

I’d throw away my grudge.

.

You leave the bath so dirty,

Even bleach cannot un-soil it,

But worst of all is when you don’t

Flush the f%&#^$@ toilet.

.

Even though you are all terrible

At keeping the place clean,

I suppose you have some qualities,

That you can redeem.

.

The nights we stay up talking,

About what’s wrong with life,

And the days we end up walking,

Help me with my strife.

.

I suppose I should say thank you

For not leaving me alone,

And even though you’re messy,

We’ve made this place our home.

.

I know you’re not bad people,

And there’s worse habits you could adopt,

But would it kill you to now and then,

Make sure the floors are mopped?

.

I hope that when you come home,

You’ll give your plates a wash,

Yours truly, with love and frustration,

Your favourite housemate - Josh