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Dear Future Self,

by Mel 10 months ago in performance poetry
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Sincerely, Never Thought I'd Make It This Far

just some poems i wrote down when i needed to sit down and take a breather

The heart lives off the air

we breathe.

The heart lives on the pain

we receive.

Overthinking is a drug addiction

for the mind.

They tell her to be herself.

But, they also tell her to

lose the weight,

hide her face behind makeup,

and dress up like a Victoria's Secret model.

The mind is a

powerful subject.

Without it, we would just be

a body with arms, legs,

and a head.

Anxiety is the only thing keeping

me from telling him how I truly felt.

Without it, I would be

holding his hand, kissing his cheek,

playing with his hair, and holding onto the

only person who keeps me sane.

Growing up they told her to

follow her dreams.

What they never told her was that

to follow her dreams, she had to become

someone she never wanted to become.

Who knew that the one person who could

keep her happy all these years was

a person that she had never met?

They tell you that dreams cannot

become reality.

But, that’s a lie.

A dream can become a reality;

you just have to work hard enough

for it to become one.

Without you, I am alone. I am dark. I am broke.

With you, I am alone. I am broke.

Alone, I am confused. I am lonely. I am unsatisfied.

Being gay is okay.

Being gay is normal.

Being gay is alright.

Being someone you don’t want to be,

that is where it starts to go wrong.

A person is allowed to love more than one gender.

If we couldn’t love more than one gender,

what’s the point of being different than anyone else?

Heartbreak is the part of life that

nobody ever wants to live through.

If you have to go through it one day,

just remember that you are never alone.

Love is love,

no matter who you love.

Friend may end with the word “end”,

but why didn’t anyone tell us that the end of

a friendship would feel like someone just

stabbed you in the freaking heart.

Seeing the toxicity in a person takes practice,

but ending the relationship with a toxic person;

that takes courage.

There is a big difference

between being afraid of the future

and being afraid of your future.

Trust. Hard to come by.

Trust. Easy to damage.

Trust. Hurts like hell when betrayed.

Trust. Who knew that one five letter word

could hurt a single person with one single blow.

Dear future self,

How did you survive for this long?

Soon enough, she was afraid to take a photograph,

in fear that it would be the last one they would take.

The scariest part about a friendship

is never knowing if that could be the

very last time the two of you hang out.

Losing a parent is a form of heartbreak

she never thought she would ever suffer.

To think that

he’ll never be able to watch her walk at graduation,

he’ll never be able to watch her fall in love,

he’ll never be able to watch her suffer her first heartbreak,

he’ll never be able to walk her down the aisle,

he’ll never be able to see his first grandchild,

will always be her dagger.

Despite what she’s been told,

her dreams never seemed so far away.

Follow your dreams, they said.

But only if it’s practical and efficient, they said.

Sometimes the people that you love the most,

are the same people who hurt you the most.

Blood means family,

but family doesn’t always mean blood.

Life is overwhelming,

but life is also precious.

performance poetry

About the author

Mel

dog handler by day, aspiring writer by night

she/they

instagram: stufflestream

youtube: Melon Melon | TheMelonVlogs

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