CONTEMPLATIONS
I sit alone in my cubicle contemplating, I got shit on my mind I try relating
Ill at ease with these thoughts in my brain going insane, getting that urge to begin the killing again
I’m trying to fight it but my head is screaming at me “get em get em”, I’m in the jungle hearing the guns coming at me, “wet em wet em”.
Life that I grew up in ghetto warfare, what the fuck! I really want to get out but I cant I’m stuck
Homeys around me dying or they’re gone to the wall, and my family is hanging up the phone on me when ever I dare to call
My baby’s momma wont let me see my kids says she knows that I’m dying soon and she don’t want to have to be the one to tell our sons what it is that their daddy do
Every thing that means a thing I seem to be losing, it’s the price I pay for the ways I’ve been choosing.
CONTEMPLATIONS
Contemplating bad thoughts, time for me to ride no where to hide from these thoughts in my mind
Even when I wine & dine death not far behind it can happen any time
CONTEMPLATIONS
Contemplating ways of straightening out my life & getting out the hood, would my surroundings change my brain would that do me any good?
Would this disease leave my mind would I finally find peace? Would all this anger inside of me finally find release?
Or will I trip until I die my family left to cry my kids to wonder why, did daddy have to die?
Inside my mind, battling with these demons trying hard to stay strong but I’m loosing my reasons.
“Fight it fight it”, my people’s telling me “ride it ride it”, the devil’s telling me two sides in my head & they’re both yelling at me!
Outside in these streets I see death coming at me
CONTEMPLATIONS
Contemplating bad thoughts, time for me to ride no where to hide from these thoughts in my mind
Even when I wine & dine death not far behind it can happen any time
Contemplating once again what to do to pull through, keep myself sane keep my mind on cool
I can’t afford therapy so who can I talk to? Folks at church looking at me crazy any time I walk through. I don’t know what to do, I won’t tell it but I’m scared, I think that I might die soon & I know I know I aint prepared. But who the hell cares? At least that’s how I’m feeling. In the back of my mind a voice tells me “try kneeling! Pray to God that’s the only thing to help you, it’s hard to believe in what I don’t see. It’s the only way to save you! In order to succeed you’re going to need God in your life”, and see, 6 Deep never thought there was a place for God on these streets where I ride, maybe that’s why my life aint right. I’m going to have to give that one some thought tonight
CONTEMPLATIONS
Contemplating bad thoughts, time for me to ride no where to hide from these thoughts in my mind
Even when I wine & dine death not far behind it can happen any time
Elijah H. Mu'ied
A.K.A "6 Deep The Messenger"
About the Creator
Elijah H. Muied
Also Known As - "6 Deep The Messenger"! Pacific Northwest Spoken word Performance Artist, Poet, Creative Writer & Event Host...
Comments
There are no comments for this story
Be the first to respond and start the conversation.