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Confessions of A Reluctant Spy

by John Ridgway 3 years ago in social commentary
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I accept no money, or I would not use this art. Please be respectful if you borrow the image. Thank you.

I am a warrior poet doing op's

for a vast army hidden

in the bunker of obscurity;

cover lives so meek and mild,

they would never be suspected of having

an AK47 buried in the garage.

Life and death in my hands every damn day.

Every mistake a bloody mess,

assassins for all the sides seem everywhere.

I am confused by the NEED TO KNOW policies of both God and man.

In my cover life

I am surrounded by neutered's

who take a smug pride in being slaves.

My enemies tried to defeat me without martyring my flesh,

left me bloody and broke and half mad . . .

silently contenting myself with the knowledge

I would one day issue their death sentences.

The oligarchies media tries to control the narrative

of the revolution,

yet I lived to write


for the unmarked mass graves

that took our comrades

without so much as a news story about missing college kids.

Never meant to have this bloody life.

Never wanted anything more than a simple love,

simple words,

simple ways.

They stole me from my life,

brought out the wrath

created a war hardened beast

who they could no longer control.

I have been mistaken for many things

since the revolution began

my enemies have tried to demonize me

for challenging an oligarchy

stealing every last drop of oil and . . . on the planet:

some saw me only as a mirror,

an alien,

a communist,


peace nik,

war monger,



happens when the media,

can take a split second of a life

and say it rep's all the other years.

I am enough Nietzschean enough

to allow neither pain nor praise

any effect on the one who stands always in solitude,

surrounded by discarded by the masks

I wear for all others;

I see fresh blood on a monstrous visage glistening in the light,

another a benign reflection

of my smile

for a child.

Art By Stephanie McMillion.

social commentary

About the author

John Ridgway

I have five published books, wrote for two small tv shows, hosted the comedy hit PEACE AND PIPEDREAMS, playing 14 comedy characters plus... on FEARLESS RADIO. I also consult for the intelligence community in various capacities.

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Comments (1)

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  • John Burden4 days ago

    This is one of the greatest writers of his generation. Unfortunately he ran into problems with the government, who repressed his work. He five books on LULU, three you can get for free, WAKING UP JESUS, about when he was classically brainwashed, and used by hidden intelligence concerns on a mission that he refused to help with, once he realized how dark their intentions were... a book of comedy, The Religious Psycho Killer's Shit List, and ONE WAR. One of his five major's in university was Anthropology with an emphasis on Military Intelligence, and he writes this one in three triptychs, one based on a Navy Seal during operation Phoenix, another on a poet who writes about Iran Contra, killing the character based slightly on Gary Webb, who broke Iran Contra, and later, after Ridgway wrote his book, committed 'suicide' rather miraculously with two bullets into the back. Casey, the Reagan CIA director was scheduled to go before congress on this matter, and had a brain tumor blow out his brain three days before.

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