Colours

I used to feel things so big

In bright bold colours

Happiness so yellow it could compete with the sun

Love so deep red it matched the blood in my veins

And flares of excitement that would make a rose garden weep

But then came the blues

The feeling so sad it choked

Like the deep blue black of the sea

The feeling so lonely so empty

Like the grey void of an empty winter sky

And the numbness, the paralysing fear, the hopelessness

So black that it was almost nothing

Like drifting in cold empty space

The colours filled me up and bled me dry

The black overtook any other until they were a faded memory

I was lost in the darkness

Slowly, slowly the colours starting coming back

My niece opened her eyes for the very first time and red sparked in my chest

My friend followed her dream

And her little successes sprouted

Yellow in my soul

Little by little life gave me back my colours

Not as bright as before, maybe

So as not to blind me after my time in the dark

But the sadness that still ached and the loneliness that burned

Made my happiness and my love that much sweeter

A prize isn’t a prize after all

Unless it is won