Collection

They'd moved you to the Childrens Ward

They’d moved you to the childrens’ ward,

where you sat there with a smile all the while knowing

It may be the last time I come to visit you,

Your lifetime was closing,

I was in denial.

Your teeth white

smile bright

Eyes a brightly yellow

Liver failure – vitals low

Red & white cell count well below

the normal.

Skin amber,

hands still warm

Belly swollen, legs swollen

Stretched skin weeps tears from your delicate sheath-

the body

where your beauty’s still trapped in.

Thoughts

Can you carry it?

Sure – it hangs a little heavy.

Can you let it go?

I need it to remember.

Is it so bad if you forget it? That burden –let it go.

No ––

I don’t want to lose the grounding weight with roots which rot from tear drops

Of saline.

No, I cannot let it go.

I choose to wear the burdened-chained bracelets,

I think they look good on me.

Dont Cry and Drive

Don’t cry and drive,

If you do you might’n see the light turn red

or the haltered cars ahead.

Those tearful eyes make for foggy screens,

With heavy breathing leaving moisture,

you try to wipe away - that just makes it worse––

Greasy hands smear oily stained streaks

Don’t cry and drive,

The heaviness will grow if you play those melancholic metronomes

From the stereo,

where you hear LoFi lullabies that struck a broken chord,

That made you think of her.

Internal chords are delicate now, inner fibers need be restrung,

The process of cacooning you would have turned to Mum

to help you,

There would be no questions of how/what/who,

she’d just let you cry and let you be you.

She left in January,

That should have been enough time to grieve and to grow, to accept and to let go

of the regrets that you had for not being by her side. Let go

of the thought of her alone ––

She wasn’t.

Don’t cry and drive,

Now is not the time,

Make a date with your diary and pen in it instead, yes––

Organise yourself like your good Mother raised you,

Crying in the car is for children in the back.

You are a child, your Mother’s child,

But she’s gone now so don’t try cry and drive,

Alone.