Clarity

Two months ago if I saw you, I would've wanted nothing else but to be your girl

Last month when I looked at you, I didn't want that anymore

And I convinced myself I was over you

Now that you're back, even if it is for a brief period of time I now know that I truly am over you

I look at you and know that I don't want to be with you romantically anymore

And I know that's a good thing because once I realized that I was instantly happier

I felt like there was so much weight lifted off my shoulders

And I don't mean to sound like an asshole because you're great

But the constant overthinking is finally over with

And when my lips met yours I knew the sex would be different immediately

Not because we aren't great together in that sense, but because emotions aren't there anymore

And when you asked what's different,

When you asked if my sex drive has changed

I knew that you felt that difference too but you couldn't pinpoint what it was

There's so much that I want to do, and you know that

But now that there aren't emotions anymore, I have to readjust

However, even though I'm happy I'm also terrified

The idea of having to go back out and date people to find the one I now want to be with is scary

I don't want to be heartbroken time and time again

I'm nervous to have to go through it all

I didn't mind being heartbroken over you since it at least determined that I couldn't be broken by anyone else

But now things are different and I'm going to have to take a few risks if I want to start the next chapter of my love life

Yet, I'm still wondering...

Am I truly ready for it?