Chapter 20: Transformation

If you could describe love in one word, what would it be?

This was supposed to be a simple exercise my coach had us do but here I am 4 years later and that question has stuck with me.

Everyone may have a different answer to that question, why?

Because everyone’s interpretation of love is different.

“What has your love life been like?”

The question we all avoid at family gatherings.

It’s interesting to me that when people think of “love” it’s automatically referred to love with someone else.

I don’t avoid that question anymore, nor should you.

I associate “love” with myself.

My love life? It’s me.

This loving myself journey has been a challenge. I didn’t think it’d be this wearing.

I remind myself on a daily that if I dream of spreading love and joy to others, I must make sure I am okay first.

Twenty-twenty version of me did not think this way.

I would mentally exhaust myself from spreading love because it became too much that I didn’t leave any left for myself.

That is not to be confused with saying there is a limit on how much love you can share with others, it just means make sure your love cup is full before you do so.

Think of it as a phone battery. You are at 100% and throughout the day you use it. For example, I have a morning routine and let’s say I skip that routine to do something for someone I love. This begins to interfere with my morning routine that is vital for my health. I am choosing someone else over myself. This is draining my battery (my love cup).

To recharge, I just simply do things that benefit my overall well-being. Self-care, hobbies, eating, sleeping, etc. But I won't always charge my phone to the full 100% at the end of the night, I may charge it throughout the day or just wait till the next morning.

The point is, if your battery (love cup) falls below let’s say about 30% and you continue to use it, it’s only going to take longer to charge up the battery to the full 100% again.

One of my many aspirations in life is to help others in this way specifically, spreading love.

The whole quarantine and changes in society we’ve faced these past two years indeed affected our human connection with one another, but these challenges I feel allowed for me to connect to myself more. I am at a different place than I was a year ago, and I am thankful for that.

Love for me right now has been self-love and it has been beautiful. I feel we are at a time where everyone is on their self-love journey, and I am here for it.

All that self-love talk aside, I of course am one who dreams of finding their true love and running off into the sunset. But as of now, I am allowing time to do its job and I am present.

It is definitely a much better perspective I now have of life.

I am part of the hopeless romantic community and I believe we will fulfill our fairytale dream one day.

But our fairytale begins now

Time is out of our hands

There is no such thing as waiting for “the one.”

We are “the one.”

Remember, love begins with ourselves

and when you love yourself, the love you begin to share with others becomes much more treasurable.

I love who I am right now, and I am falling in love with life more and more every day. I know it only gets better from here and that I will be okay.

If you could describe love in one word, what would it be?

Growth.