Chaos Ensues

forgiveness

i’ve harbored reconciliation

hidden it in places you’ll never find

fighting with the temptation of an apology

for the sake of my pride

i wear it like a banner as if this were my proudest moment

but if i keep it close and boast will you even question my authority?

i belong here

this part is true

bitterness has taken root

pulling up the weeds of past hurt and greed

i’m sad as i watch my hands bleed

i’m tired of carrying around my burdens

your hands are open willing to take on some of the weight

i kindly decline

yet again walking in my pride

did you know we are all just human?

with feelings and emotions

circumstances others won’t ever know

behind closed doors we cry

the smiles show up when we meet face to face

values

expectations

and consideration

we are all different

i need help

crying out in agony

i need help

can anyone hear me?

i cannot bare to do this alone

i’ve been kicked to the ground and i have no place to call home

my heart is an empty void

i know you can see the anxiety ripping at the seams of me

i have been here before

i’ve stared into the eyes fo those i love shocked by my reaction

to situations out of my control

i can handle it

i’ve got this

did we forget that i was human?

yes, me too

the reliable one who never lets you down

i am human too

i do not possess super powers

it’s imperative we both know this

i have seen the lord

i have held his hand

he dances with me in the kitchen

wipes my tears when i feel defeated

these friends don’t make sense

i’ve never felt more safe and secure

than i do here with them

i yelled at her and she came closer

my apathetic nature doesn’t scare her

she knows where it comes from

all the more reason to push my buttons