Brown Girl Blues

During my junior year of college, these words came to me. I was tired of feeling alone and in the dumps about things I couldn't change, but learned to appreciate. Despite the detrimental factors that come with being a person of color, I'm always reminded how powerful it is to be black. Melanin is a beautiful thing. I want everyone to remember that it's important to love yourself and where you come from! The hardness of the world should never allow you to stop being soft and kind with yourself. I left my campus on a three hour ride to the city for a weekend and before taking the bus back home, I stopped in a bar that had an open mic night going on, so I put my name on the list to perform this. Dedicated to every black girl who might feel blue at times, you are not alone.

These are my brown girl blues.

Sometimes I want my hair to stay down

Though, not as down as my self esteem

I mean--

I want my curls to be a little more loose

And, I want this body to do more than just seduce

And, to be comfortable in my skin without excuses.

These are my brown girl blues.

I walk around with no expression.

It's often misinterpreted for aggression

But, in the valleys of this soul lie the best intentions

Yet they can't see that, so...

I scream without making sounds

I fight while standing still

I cry without shedding a tear, because...

It's my silence they love the most.

Truthfully though, how can you silence magic? Trick.

These are my brown girl blues.

Although I see folk who vary from light to dark brown hues

Sisters who look up to figures like Ellington and Hughes

And brothers who wave a fist in the air to express their pro-black views

It feels as though we are not together.

I thought that in great numbers, we'd create a solid movement

But years later I see no improvement

They taking our mothers, fathers, aunties, and uncles for their own sick amusement

And still, “I only like light skin girls.”

Or, “Imma find me a white boy.”

Beloved, there is a war bigger than us, can’t you see that we should love each other?

These Are My Brown Girl Blues

I just want this world to understand me.

And soon enough they will see

That this brown girl is an ambrosial creation

And none of their models dressed in black face can even come close to a duplication

Hold on, I should know that my being is appreciated.

We are appreciated.

Sandra, appreciated.

Alberta, appreciated.

Charleena, appreciated.

Korryn, appreciated.

Breonna, appreciated.

Say their names.

I don't think y'all are hearing me.

Harriet, appreciated.

Sojourner, appreciated.

Rosa, appreciated.

Coretta, appreciated.

Michelle, appreciated.

Brothers need to feel the appreciation too

Because if I'm gonna love someone like my life depends on it,

I promise it’s gonna be you.

Mike, appreciated.

Tamir, appreciated.

Alton, appreciated.

Ahmaud, appreciated.

Trayvon, appreciated.

Amadou, appreciated.

Philando, appreciated.

Eric, appreciated.

George, appreciated.

Rayshard, appreciated.

I am the embodiment of generations which contain vital spirits

So either get lost, or get with it

And maybe next time I will not have to speak about my brown girl blues

Only my brown girl enlightenment

Brown girl positivity in a messed up environment

Brown girl wisdom

Brown girl hope for change in a terribly corrupt system

These are my brown girl blues.