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Body Dysmorphic Disorder

'Maybe I am sick.'

By Amanda OlejniczakPublished 6 years ago 1 min read
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I’ve never been able to see quite right

How I look

My own physical body

Has never been perceived correctly

“You have body dysmorphic disorder”

Says all the professionals

There’s nothing more painful than looking in a mirror

And feeling such hatred for the person staring back

That your heart starts to pound

Faster and faster

Then the tears and anger comes boiling to the surface

Because everyone is telling you you’re not eating enough

“You’re starving yourself.”

“You’re going to die if you don’t eat.”

“You’re sick.”

All sound like lies

The reality of it is

My hip bones created a valley

My chest ached

My ribs all visible, curved around my organs that were holding onto what little life I had left

My spine, bumpy and bruised from the backs of hard plastic chairs

“Maybe I really am sick”

Because not even the self-inflicted cuts or burns hurt me

As much as looking in the damn mirror every day

And not understanding what everyone else says they see

sad poetry
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About the Creator

Amanda Olejniczak

I am a writer, poet, and proud advocate for mental health. Addtional content I create can be found on Instagram: @amanda_unfiltered or @amanda_unfiltered_poetry.

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