Blurred & Degrading

I’m sorry

I’m sorry

I’M SORRY!!!

I’m sorry

Words that mean nothing when you’ve already done something jarring

What do you want me to say?

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry.

Nothings going to change,

My emotions for him have always stayed the same

Admitting it to myself at the wrong time and place

Didn’t expect it to go this way

And regret is finding me

But not in the way you’d likely seem

My feelings for him surpassed mine for you

I didn’t even want them to

What we had was real, but him and I have history

Maybe I shouldn’t dwell in the past but he became presently

And suddenly he was all I could see again

None of what I felt for you was pretend

I meant every single word that I said

Tried to fight it but I can’t

I do wish I would have deciphered it sooner

I feel pain knowing she has been abused and

I was no different than them

Intentions pure, actions didn’t comprehend

And of course I feel guilty

Because I am

You love that I’m hurting

And that’s deserving

But he has my heart, he always has

No matter how far, there was no distance

It’d get hard when he’d visit

Felt loss and then went my vision

Blurred from commitment

Yet we never committed did we?

You wouldn’t let me

I know you finally opened up a little too late

But my door was shut because I couldn’t wait

Had no idea if I should have stayed

Apparently it wasn’t meant to be

But through the bad there is some good

I can give him the chance that I should

So this doesn’t happen again to another new romance

Agonizing affliction knowing you were the last

Got in the middle of my resolution

I never wanted to say goodbye

What was hiding was my intuition, so it came off as lies

I know you’ll never believe me

And that’s completely fine

Just know my feelings for you didn’t die

…It just wasn’t fair to you that his were on the rise