Blessings

Everything is void, I feel so deflated;

I can’t find anything that I think is worth it

I feel like everything that I do is non-sense

Nothing gives me the life that I wanted.

I wanted to live, I want to break free

I just want to go to places and flee

I want to be calm, feel the breeze of the wind

And the ache from the scorch of the sun on my skin.

I wanted to travel, be lost sometime

I want to experience, how to live that life

I want to explore by myself this time

To feel that there’s no one I need in my life.

But things have always been far from that

It’s like I’m in a cage, away of my desire

I want to escape; with broken wings I’ll fly

And feel that much happiness before I die.

And now I know that sadness makes you weak

You feel it in your bones, your head and knees

I don’t have the urge to move a single bit

And want to hide where no one would see.

Can I just lay down on my bed today?

I feel so exhausted even at the start of day

My soul longs for a sweet reverie

When will I earn this; Oh! how I plea.

Until when should I let my wretched self down?

Until when can I stay and not make a sound?

Until when can I hide everything in my mind?

No one knows, only time can say when it is fine.

Maybe I’m fine with this melancholy

Maybe I’ve learned to like my agony

Maybe I don’t want to discover more of me

Maybe I‘ve learnt to accept this misery.

Maybe I’ve accepted that I can never be

As wonderful and glamorous as people around me

I would stay as me, as long as I need to be

Waiting for fervent bliss to finally find me.