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Betrayer

A poem

By Chloë J.Published 4 months ago 1 min read
Top Story - May 2023
40
Betrayer
Photo by Valentin Salja on Unsplash

I let it run right through my hands,

Ignore the men and their commands.

Their aim is steady, as am I,

My heartbeat sure, steel in my eye.

It’s warmer than I thought it’d be-

The viscous red all I can see.

Still, I hold the burning weapon,

Take their measure-they are seven-

It is here, then, where it will end,

And I, alone, without a friend.

I guess, it is, as I deserve-

But it’s not time to lose my nerve.

Though labeled Judas, I will fight

Until the end with all my might.

Glory can fall to only one-

And if not me, it shall be none.

They shout, demanding I should yield,

But I just laugh, my fate now sealed.

They raise their weapons. As do I.

And then we let the paintballs fly.

fact or fictionhumor
40

About the Creator

Chloë J.

Probably not as funny as I think I am

Insta @chloe_j_writes

Reader insights

Outstanding

Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!

Top insights

  1. On-point and relevant

    Writing reflected the title & theme

  2. Eye opening

    Niche topic & fresh perspectives

  3. Heartfelt and relatable

    The story invoked strong personal emotions

  1. Compelling and original writing

    Creative use of language & vocab

  2. Excellent storytelling

    Original narrative & well developed characters

  3. Easy to read and follow

    Well-structured & engaging content

  4. Masterful proofreading

    Zero grammar & spelling mistakes

  5. Expert insights and opinions

    Arguments were carefully researched and presented

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Comments (23)

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  • Paul Stewart4 months ago

    Just here to say, rather lately, I am so glad this got Top Story! This still makes me smile with glee at the awesome reveal at the end!

  • MARIE ODEMS 4 months ago

    YOU ARE GOING GREAT THINGS KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Lol, I did not see that coming! Awesome twist! Congratulations on your Top Story! I've subscribed to you!

  • Congratulations 💖🎉📝💯😉

  • Inkstoryy_blog4 months ago

    This is a divine masterpiece

  • Andrew C McDonald4 months ago

    Great job. Very visceral. Love the paintball.

  • Cezanne Libellen4 months ago

    Haha! So funny!! Awesome poem!

  • Brenton F4 months ago

    Loved the twist ending!

  • Babs Iverson4 months ago

    Love this!!! Congratulations on T S too!!!

  • Caroline Jane4 months ago

    🤣 fantastic. Very witty! Congratulations ❤️

  • Jasmine DeVeaux4 months ago

    Wow, I did not see that coming. Masterfully written!

  • Mackenzie Davis4 months ago

    Great rhythm and rhyming! And nice, fun twist at the end. Made me read it again, and if possible, I enjoyed it more that time. Congratulations! 🎉

  • Shahid Ahmad Khan4 months ago

    Amazing!

  • Heather Hubler4 months ago

    HA! Loved how dramatic the entire piece was until that last line dropped. Wonderful work! Congratulations on Top Story :)

  • Kendall Defoe 4 months ago

    Brill! I see it as a very...colourful ending? Great TS!

  • Mohammed Darasi4 months ago

    🤣🤣🤣 great poem! And the last line is just hilarious. It had me going there until the end. Well done 👍🏽👍🏽

  • Cathy holmes4 months ago

    Oh, this is great. That ending. Yes!

  • Melissa Ingoldsby4 months ago

    You’re as funny as you think you are. Much more !! Lol this was excellent and high level quality in social commentary and on point for slightly dark humor.I subscribed and hearted

  • Judey Kalchik 4 months ago

    Well thank goodness

  • Paul Stewart4 months ago

    Love where you took this! Made me chuckle at the end!

  • Dana Crandell4 months ago

    Now, that's some serious game! Loved the twist! Well done!

  • Real Poetic4 months ago

    Amazing! So well put together.

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