All I Really Want

What I really want is to have you in my arms

to kiss you

to stare into you.

Instead

here we are

sitting on opposite sides of a table

sipping cold coffee

putting in an act for the rest of the world to see.

What I really want

is for this charade to be over

to be me

to be the one I am whenever I am with you.

Instead

here we are

face to face

pretending all is cool

pretending all is nothing.

What I really want

is for the rest of the world to disappear

I don’t care about anybody else

there’s no room in me for mercy or compassion.

I just want you.

I keep picturing scenarios

where everything

and everyone

fades away

and I can just go collect what I need

what I really want.

What we can’t have.

Instead

we’ll shake hands

and politely go our separate ways.

What I really want

is what I have to say goodbye to.

All I really want

is what you’ll take with you

what you’ll take away from me

what I have never been able to enjoy.

We have been so close,

on the edge.

We have stared into the abyss.

But we just won’t take the leap, will we?

Aren’t we formidable?

Aren’t we worthy of admiration?

Aren’t we?