a psalm for when you can’t “move on”

my love,

take your time

to heal

the way back to yourself

isn’t a breathless race

or a runaway train

your rehabilitation

requires respite

not rush

our rustic open wounds

become symmetrically

formed scars when we

allow ourselves time to rest

not when we thrash around

~ the way to healing isn’t a mountain

face that you must scale

~ your recovery isn’t a barrier

that you have to climb

~ your comeback isn’t an

obstacle course

of dangling legs,

grasping fingers

or racing heartbeats

that you are being called

to scramble around,

across or through

you won’t mend

your heart

by “getting over”

what happened to you

your suffering isn’t a

rickety ladder

of noisy steps

~ it’s a quiet church of whispering angels

~ it’s a still lake of your beautiful reflection

~ it’s a sacred school house of learning

if we don’t spend time with

our pain

we never learn from it

if we don’t listen to the shifting

deep rumbles inside of us

we will build our lives on fault lines

if we treat our trauma like a

racecourse to speed through

we will keep crashing into the walls

I don’t believe you

will ever “get over”

anything terrible that

has happens to you

like it is a fence

instead

I believe that if

you rest with your pain

under a tree for an

hour or two

like it is your best friend

it will remind you

over and over about

how you are your most

beautiful when you refuse to give up

don’t let them lie to

you when they tell

you to “move on”

from your wounds

your wounds

make the best

teachers

they have so

much to teach you

about the wealth

of courage you

have inside of you

your pain isn’t

an obstacle

it’s a testimony

of how remarkably

brave you are

when you want to

know peace again

after you fall

to pieces

don’t speed through

your recovery

lie down with your

fat tears on

the couch

for as long as

it takes

to remember

there is absolutely nothing

that can stop you

you don’t need

to overcome anything

like it is a wall

you just need to rest

for a bit

and that’s how you

come back to yourself again

one long nap at a time

my love,

take your time

to heal

I’ll be here waiting

for you to emerge

from under the

blankets like the

Rose of Advent

I’ll be here writing

poetry about how

brave you are to

keep breathing

I’ll be here marveling

at how lovely you are

when you wear your scars

like midnight lingerie

~ john roedel