A Note For My Best Friend’s Dad

Hey, remember me?

I'm the girl who has joint custody over your daughter.

That girl who has been there since the dog

And who will be there past the cat.

The one who watched her go from

Littlest Pet Shops to one day

Owning her own shop.

I'm sure you know me.

Don't you remember what I did to your camper?

And what I did to your kitchen?

And what I did to your anxiety,

As I kissed a boy for the first time

In the back of your car

As you drove it 75 miles an hour

Down a freeway road in Mesa

With your daughter in the front seat?

Oh wait,

You probably didn't know about that.

I'm guessing you also didn't know

That at 11,

The most beautiful girl in the world

Was our best friend

And that your daughter loved her

In a way you couldn't accept.

I'm guessing you didn't know that

Your beautiful daughter doesn't like guys

Or girls

Or even people

Because she can't like them.

She can only love them, in a way that she

Did not realize other people loved her.

In fact, I know you didn't know that

Because I also know that

Your daughter

Is full of nothing but love.

Boulders and Boulders of love.

She will give someone a boulder

And they give her back a pebble.

She gives them love they don't realize

That they are strong enough to hold

Because they don't care to try.

And then they give her that boulder back,

And let her keep the pebble

As a memory

And a room key

In case they need her later.

And she can't help but love

So she sits in her room with 30 tons

On top of her

Weighing her down

And all the mementos weighing nothing

But feeling like everything

Because she chooses the wrong people to love.

But you already knew that.

Because you didn't even give her the pebble.

You took her boulder

And her mother's boulder

And the boulders of everyone who ever

Dared to love you

And instead of loving them back

You kept those rocks in a room across the hall

Where she couldn't reach them

And her mom couldn't reach them.

They were close enough to see,

But not close enough to touch.

Just a rock collection to show off

To the world what a

Picture

Perfect

Family

You have.

Well, sir, you were never particularly

Photogenic.

Hey, do you remember that one time

When she called me

Crying

Because you said something that put her over the edge?

No?

I bet you don't.

Because it wasn't that one time.

It was today.

And yesterday.

And last week.

Twice two weeks ago.

7 days in a week,

52 weeks in a year,

16 years in her lifetime

And I have known her 9 of them.

How many times do you think,

If you had to guess,

That I picked up that phone?

I'll let you know.

Every time you didn't.