A Mother's Choice

The traumatic event itself happened in early childhood, the damaging impacts became apparent throughout the turbulent teenage years, young adulthood, into early adulthood, and chronically while trying to grow, develop and move forward though out middle-to-later adulthood.

Greatness was interrupted in the girl before she even knew she had a choice. She gave up her voice. Her power relinquished in the name of love.

You see, she was little enough to think her Mama hung the moon and stars. She emulated her Mama without question because that was her Mama and the little girl loved her.

But in the end, her Mama let her down. Often. With loving intention, but selfish choice disguised genuine.

She did what she had to do because her heart said so. She did what no one else would because someone had to. She had to.

As the girl grew up, she knew she did right by shining a rescue light, but the lack of support in the never-ending aftermath proved appalling and devastating. The fallout should not have included the innocent so fiercely damaged. The love should have been more kind.

Cryptically scarred from accepting years of disrespectful love, the girl made controversial choices inline with her version of self-worth; as she matured, she realized there was a deeper definition of love to which she could aspire.

To the chagrin of many – perpetrators, victims and enablers - the girl did find her voice, and it is uncomfortably loud.

To the repeated chants of “get over it and move on” she spoke back undeniable truths with her sharpened tongue. They - the perpetrators, victims and enablers - continue to slap hands tightly over sensitive ears, deaf to words they wish not to hear. Intentionally, effectively, numb ...

~~~

Although for years she tried to hold up the bloodied structure alone with superhuman strength and unshed tears, she finally was crushed beneath the pressure of this brutal responsibility. Miraculously, unexpectedly, she survived and walked away, leaving the dust to settle.

She consciously bore a daughter of her own. Dust devils rose from the rubble behind. She chose to receive the responsibility again, along with a sword.