A Different Life

Oh, how I wished for a life outside of my own

So many lives I could have lived

Hoped I would live

But never came to pass

I dreamed of a life in England

A life with the child I almost had

A child that never breathed air

I wonder how things would have turned out

I was ready to be a father or so I told myself

I finally had the opportunity

To be a better father than my own

But God knew I wasn’t ready for that responsibility

And the child passed in the womb

I wanted that life

To run away from my own and disappear

The same life I still want

To leave this place and never return

Because there's nothing here worthwhile

Even my family doesn’t anchor me here

The life I want is a life free of them and everyone around me

To cut all ties, and never look back

That’s the path that calls to me every morning, every night

Every time my life feels out of sight

I wish I may I wish I might

This life just doesn’t feel right

I don’t want to be here building bonds I know I won't keep

I just want to be free, to be me

But I am suffocated in this place, there's a heavy burden

Every corner has a memory, every face brings pain

I want to exist in a world I've never known before

To make new memories with joy and gratitude

Not waiting for my life to end in misery

In the same place that made me feel small

Made me as hollow as their voices

Begging me to please stay

I can't spread my wings where I'm constricted

The air here is stagnant and polluted

Corrupted by the people, the places, and the things

I find no hope left in this city, or its people

I've come to hate this place I once called home

But this place is no home of mine anymore

Nothing but a dark stain on my path

Some days I wish it would burn to the ground

Along with its ugly soulless people