100 Cups of Tea

Somewhere

Out in the world

A woman

Is at home

Cooking

A homemade meal

And it smells so good

She is falling

In love

With the vegetables

And it is making her forget

About the love

Missing

In her

Own marriage -Forget what’s missing

Love between cracks and in the low places -Walking

What can I do?

Stay frustrated?

Resentful?

Sad?

At my existence

Not feeling like I exist

Or just exist like this?

In any moment

Maybe with eyes closed

Through the more painful

Till it’s easier

But I’m not even

Sure it’s all real -Exist Part One

You’re so naked

That I can see

All the bends

All the ways

You are

When you can’t hide

Anymore -Bare Branches

I just want to be

A dull brown

And fade into

The background

But for some reason

I keep trying

To be a pop of pink -Pink Love

I see broken hearts

In glances

My stomach turns -Responsibility

Teary eyed

And nowhere

To go

But my imagination -At least

Someone that will love them as much as I do -Solo Parenting

Sometimes I feel like it’s a race to win someone’s heart. -At least for them

Why won't the world

Slow down

Head

Stop

Spinning

So,

I can watch you

A while longer -I want to be here

I want to hang my tired branches

Always sore

Like my body

Is rejecting

This planet

Where my cells

Don’t belong

Not the right kind of love -Willow trees

I just want to feel

My pain

For one

More night

Because

Tomorrow

I need

To be

Ok again

I need to be bright -My time

The connection

Is not enough

Feels like

I’m wired wrong

I’ve been

Working on myself

Even though

I’m enough -Faulty wiring

My soft pink thought exploded in real life -I’m a dreamer

Sometimes

I look down

At my body

And

I wonder

If anyone

Will ever

Stroke my thighs

Cup my tired breasts

With their hands

Kiss my neck

The way I like

Ever? -Why not me?

Evening walks in the dark cool sad thoughts. -That’s something

He wanted to make love

With the lights off

I was pushed

To learn to love

What I see

It could take my whole life

When you have

Tiny hurting hearts

Looking

At you

What feels like all the time

There aren’t enough minutes

In the day

To cry -Wasted beauty

I want you to see

Her beauty

Behind the scenes

It tears me apart

To see it

Go unnoticed -Photograph of a mom

I am begging

The floor

To just keep holding me

Up

Because

If I go

Under

There is no one

I trust

With their hearts

Already hurting

Three minds

Three hearts

To keep

Afloat

But

I want the job

There is no one

I trust -No one

Naked

Behind bars

And waiting -At least I choose to be real

No one showed up

It keeps

Hurting

I don’t know

Where to start

So,

I make a cup of tea -Tea hug