I've given up trying to fight with the universe
And I'm now submitting to it but sulking as I do so
Because in my art I don't want to immerse.
It hurts.
But between the universe and I, I guess one of us doesn't want me to feel worse.
You see, I'm not hungry but I have food in front of me because of my curse.
I eat until the food comes back up, in reverse.
Until I look like I'm carrying three children in my womb - the human purse.
Please tell me I can get my body to inverse.
I promise to starve you tomorrow - that way you will be reimbursed.
Your host has force-fed and tortured you, only because she wants her emotions to disperse.
But this time round the food is half eaten. This is a first.
At 10:15 I thought I could escape in my food and coerce
These thoughts and feelings to burst
And stop existing.
Instead, nothing is going my way
and I can't ignore the universe's command to pick up this phone and type away.
She told me I must admit my flaws as a way to pave
My gateway to a better place.
And now that I'm here, it's time to use these fingers to say
I feel shit because I crave someone else to make my day
To make me feel worthy and as though in this life I can stay.
A voice in my head tells me to crawl into a highway
And be slayed.
The same voice that tells me I am worthless and unloved - I know you've heard it before. It's become cliche.
I don't want this to be the case.
"I need to be alone!" I exclaim.
With this, I lie to my own face.
I feel bad about wanting to love so
In my bad habits, I would rather bathe.
It is now 11:11 and I have nothing else to say.
This poem has only made me feel worse,
As it reminds me of my mistakes.
Ohwell, fuck it! Let me find a way to escape.
After all, tomorrow is so close and it is
A whole new day...
About the Creator
LIFE MAZI
A RELIC OF GROWTH
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