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The Spark Of A Journey

The Wolf And The Girl

By Analesia GiammussoPublished 4 years ago 8 min read
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First and foremost, I want to point out that, Wyatt is not a wolf. He's a shepherd husky mix. I refer to him as wolf because he reminds me of one with his spirit. With that being said our story can begin.

It's 2019, few months before my birthday, I'm having a difficult time getting out of bed most days. Nothing is inherently wrong with my life. I live with my best friend in a decent apartment in Seattle, I have my own business and family and friends I can turn to with any problems. Things just seem gray. Silly right?

That's the thing with depression or anxiety. You don't have a reason or event that makes you feel this way. You just do. I am feeling a sense of excitement with the start of March, however. Birthdays tend to do that to me. I feel a new cycle starting with each year that passes. It gives me hope and the thoughts that I will actively be a better person (I will credit myself here - that whole self love thing - I have come a long way since being 20 years old).

While I have a strong group of people I can rely on I am still a loner. I keep in contact over text, social media and phone calls. I'll show up to the important things for friends and family, but I mostly get burnt out with constant events and interactions. Why? I love being with my friends. I love parties. I love bonfires and lake days. The making memories and traveling. All of that is very appealing and keeps me going. It's just not enough when I'm not right with myself. I still have the dark feelings of "I'm not good enough", "I'm too sensitive or too much", "Hey, you're still single and your friends are all in loving relationships!". I needed something to shock me awake. Something that forced me out of bed and made me feel loved even in my darkest places.

So, began my search for a dog. I didn't want to rush it or do something rash, but I could feel it in my bones that this was what I needed. I ran my own pet service business so having him or her with me was no issue. They would get the exercise they needed and I would get out of bed hours before work versus 30 minutes before I needed to leave. I had scrolled and scrolled. Visited shelters in person. No one fit. I came close to adopting one dog, but the shelter said he couldn't be around cats. When I inquired what that meant (he was so small I doubted he could actually harm a cat) the woman at the shelter snapped I couldn't have him.

Initially I took this as a sign that I wasn't meant to have a dog. I know this sounds drastic, but it was months and nothing was coming together. In my twisted mind this was a sign that I wasn't ready for (or deserved) a dog. Then, the Friday of my birthday weekend, I found a dog I knew I HAD to go see. Ever felt that way about something? You just need to do it? So I did. I roped my brother in to drive me two and half hours to see this dog in Yakima. I wasn't even sure if we would click or if he was still available. I didn't even call to ask.

His name was Kiro at the time (something he didn't know) and his face was so...defiant almost. Unsure, but strong. Like he had seen a thing or two and was still standing against anyone who came near him. When I told my brother about him he was in without question.

As we got to the humane society in Yakima we got out the truck and I saw Kiro. He was with another family. Husband, wife and two small kids. I was impressed with how little he reacted with the two kids jumping around and running. In fact, he didn't seem engaged with much of anything except for sniffing the ground. I felt my heart drop. I wanted him so bad already. The only thing to do was go in and wait. I looked through the book at possible other dogs to meet. For all I knew I was brought there by this dog to meet another.

Waiting for the family to return Kiro he was finally brought back in and returned to the back. They talked for awhile with the front desk and left. My brother encouraged me to ask for him anyway. The family hand't filled out any paperwork so he was probably still available.

As he came back out he didn't seem to have much personality to him. He perked up as he saw he was going back outside. His fur was ragged and dull, but his eyes were excited. He didn't seem to care about Kenn or I, at all. We spent about 30 minutes outside. He was intrigued by other dogs and sniffed every inch of ground he could. He didn't care that we pet him, picked him up, played with his ears or tail. It was enough for me to want to spend some time with him in the visiting room.

Once we got in there he became anxious. He paced the room, stayed just out of reach of us and was very against Kenn coming near him. After about 15 minutes he finally laid down, just out of reach. He seemed to just accept us. I think I saw myself in him. Nervous, trying to hide it, unsure and uncomfortable. I wanted to help him.

While I had the confidence I went to the desk and asked to adopt him. I would have to come back the next day for him since he wasn't fixed and I found myself agreeing. 10 hours in two days and I wasn't even phased. I signed my paperwork, gave Kiro back to the kennel attendant and we left.

I was nervous, excited and happy. This was going to be one of the better things I had decided to do. The next day I took off and picked Kiro up (with a list of names to try out on him) and instantly felt like I had made the wrong choice. He wasn't excited to see me (I had this idea in my head) and wouldn't let me touch him. It was a struggle to get him in the car. I had laid down the backseats and put down as many comfortable blankets and pillows that I could. He was apprehensive with me picking him up and soon crawled to the very back of the car and laid down. His face saying "Look, thanks, but don't touch me".

Throwing on some music I talked to him most of the drive. Tossed treats and food closer to the front. Tried out different names and instantly discarded most. He got closer to the middle of the car as we neared the end of our drive. Pulling up to my Mom's house he was still apprehensive but wanted out. Shy, but gentle, he let my youngest sister touch him and easily got into my mom's car. He was kind, but you could tell he had some trust issues - especially with men.

A couple hours later (grandma needed to buy him some things: collar, leash, bed and bowls) and he seemed more at ease. We had one more haul before actually getting home. Finally there it was three days before he would let me touch him. I cried before that. Calling the humane society about returning him if we never bonded. I just wanted him happy and comfortable and if I wasn't the one to do it for him I figured someone else could. His face on the first night with him broke my heart. He seemed so sad.

Finally, he let me pet him and lay with him without tensing up. Three days and he was my little shadow. His favorite toy became a sassy carrot wit crossed arms that read 'I do not carrot at all". He loved seeing other dogs a my work. Befriended dogs at the park that others didn't really like. Something clicked that we belonged to each other. I settled on the name, Wyatt (after the cowboy lawman Wyatt Earp) and soon our adventures began.

We still have a lot to do in our lives together, but here is what we have accomplished in our year: We've gone camping, hiking, off-leash running, gotten over anxiety (him more so than me), he knows so many tricks and trusts me more than I ever have been in my life. He's smart, patient, gives me the what for if I leave him behind and accepts anyone I bring into his life. We both entertain ourselves, make friends easy but find that we find peace being alone (together). He went from not letting me touch him to crawling next to me when I have that crushing weight on my chest and feel lost or am crying for seemingly no reason.

He's gotten me back into shape, has helped my training techniques and given me more confidence. This creature, this four legged dog, has brought me so much laughter and patience. He's stubborn, sassy, loving and just goes with it. By watching him I have noticed similarities in myself. It's helped me grow, challenge myself and accept myself.

We're on our newest adventure now - getting ready to move to New Mexico from Washington State. I wouldn't have done this without him. That I'm sure of. I guess its true when they ask, "who rescued who?" The short answer, and I think the most correct, is we rescued each other. Wyatt went from a shy, unsure dog to one that will sprint through the woods and circle back to me and make sure I'm in his sight. I went from a lonely, exhausted girl to a more confident woman that can overcome my depression and not let it consume me.

Here's to many more years with you, Wyatt. Thanks for being my co-pilot and always being excited for whatever I drag you along to do. Thank you for pulling me from a dark place and loving me when I go back there. Now lets go, adventure is out there!

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About the Creator

Analesia Giammusso

Trying to find balance in my life! Exploring new opportunities, life choices and self love. Wanted a place to document my journey. So, here we go.

Adventure is out there!

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