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Sh*t My Dogs Do...

Episode One

By Thoughts Of RiellePublished 3 years ago 4 min read
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Such a cute puppers though.

Ayyy!!! Today is the start of a BRAND NEW series!!! I am so excited to share with everyone the crazy shiznit my dogs do. Well my dog, and his cousin. Anywhoodle... Let's get into it!!!

Let me start this episode by introducing the Doggos! My Lab, Collie, Pit mix is named Bleu. After the Raptor, spelled like the cheese. It's fancier. LOL I named him Bleu, because his eyes were strikingly blue when he was a new born/infant. Plus I love Jurassic World, Raptors, and his gorgeous first eye color. Although, I kind of wish I named him "Chewy". Not only because I am a huge "Star Wars" nerd, but about the fact he will chew EVERYTHING! I am talking about EVERYTHING!!! My roommates bed is completely destroyed. I have absolutely no idea how to stop it. I have tried the spray, a couple google techniques. I bought a shit ton of chew toys, bones etc... NOTHING fucking works!!! Oh goodness. He started going after the fucking blinds!!! THE FUCKING BLINDS!!!! Like What In The ACTUAL fuck????!!!!!! The spray bottle didn't work, not to mention he does the most chewing at night when I am asleep. I can not trust him to roam. I could put up anything, and he will still find a way to get to it... Then chew it.

The other trouble maker is named Conjure. She is an adorable Belgium Shepherd with Derpy eyes. Also known as "Vietnam Flashback Eyes" in this household. The reason being, that when she is trying to subtly get your attention; she has this zoned look when she's trying to focus, that very much resembles the description of cartoon flashbacks. Primarily adult content, usually about Vietnam veterans. We have a very dark humour in our circle. You just have to laugh at life sometimes. Less stress is healthier for you anyway. Smiling is a real mood lifter. Also great exercise. You use a lot of muscles smiling.

I am soooo off track...

Bottom line is that it always cracks everyone up, when she makes that "famous" face. She is a rescue, and has separation anxiety, anxiety in general. She is always nervous, and it is difficult to get her to eat. She will snatch bits of kibble, and huddle as she eats that little bit... then repeat.It breaks my heart. I used to hand feed her, but she's starting to become more comfortable. Silver lining. We have definitely seen a huge change in her demeanor for the better. Even though she has started to become sassy, and an enabler for Bleus' "No No's". She will be lookout while Bleu does his naughty thing, and give him a warning when she notices Aunty(mainly me), or dad come into view. As her dad has been at school the past month, it's just been me she has to look out for. She has become more playful, and while I am grateful for it... I need a fucking break from all the post disaster cleaning! I have cleaned up, and not just cleaned up.... BUT seen SO MUCH FOAM IN MY LIFE!!! No not soapy foam. I am talking about MATTRESS foam!!! Also part of the box spring. *Facepalm*

Like I said... I can not find a way to stop him. I have tried just about everything I can think of. He even chewed up my rolling papers. Yeah. I was pretty upset.

The other day, I tried to get Conjure to eat her breakfast by putting her "after morning potty" treat on her kibble. That didn't work. She just snatched it, and ran to her dads ruined bed to eat it. The best option I found to get her to eat, is putting broth, or cream of chicken soup on her kibble. I got that fresh food packets, from the refrigerated pet food section that's new to me. I found it in Target, and Walmart here in North Carolina. It possibly is elsewhere as well. The downside is how small the packaging is, therefore less food. It was gone after like five days. Maybe less. The days have been a blur during this whole fucking pandemic. Conjure fucking devoured that fresh food immediately. So now I am preparing to change both of their diets to fresh food. I have been looking up common recipes online for the type of dogs we have. Making sure they are getting all of their nutrition. If they aren't eating their poop, then I must be doing something right.

As I type this sentence I discovered Bleu wants to start digging. I had to stop that right away. I am trying to make our yard healthier. I don't need that crap.

*pausing to laugh*

I love my dogs, but they are driving me bonkers!!! Absolutely Bonkers!!! What's even crazier is how quickly they disappear into the wooded brush behind the house. They come back when called, but they are out of sight IMMEDIATELY, if I don't say "No Woods" before they reach the border of the brush. Then they just SKUURRT to the left, leaving marks in their wake. I love my goofballs.

On that note, I am going to conclude this first episode. Introductions have been made. I think I might have rambled. Just a wee bit. LOL

I will try to upload pictures somehow. I am new to all of this. Stay tuned for more episodes of this saga!! They do a lot of dumb shit. I can't wait to share my laughs with all of you!!!

Until next time...

*Ending Theme Song*

(still to be determined)

dog
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About the Creator

Thoughts Of Rielle

Hey! Rielle Here! I started this profile to see if I'm as good at writing, as I think I am. I hope what I have to say interests many of you, and you enjoy what you read. I hope I can shed perspective on many topics, as many cloud my brain!

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