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I Think I Need a New Helmet

A Crossroads Story

By KJ AartilaPublished 3 years ago Updated 3 years ago 3 min read
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I Think I Need a New Helmet
Photo by Carol Petri on Unsplash

The horse under me leaped into the air, then took off in a galloping blind fear toward the wooden rail fence on the opposite side of the arena. I clung on, grasping the reins, trying to turn the gelding and stop the impending wreck, but he was turned only by the unmoving fence. I flew over his shoulder as he dug into the dirt with his heels and slid forward. I hit the rails with my head and crashed to the sand, seeing only thrashing hooves above me, which I twisted my body desperately to avoid, trying to crawl quickly out of the way. At least he tried to avoid me in his scrambling as he got himself turned around, so he could keep bucking riderless to the other nd of the arena where he finally stopped.

My husband happened to be standing by filling water buckets and witnessed the entire unexpected event unfold. He came running. After ensuring I was essentially okay; I was standing by then and not broken or bleeding, he caught hold of my silly horse, who was now standing quietly alongside his penned herd mate. I took hold of my horse by the reins again and led him to the mounting block, where I did get back on. When I was re-seated, I realized I had a mild headache and some hurting parts of my body. I also realized I was quite shaken and didn’t really want to do this. We ended up engaging just some minor bending exercises and a few steps, then we were done. I got off.

I don’t remember hitting the fence, only the flashing hooves above me, but the creases in my helmet (thank goodness for my helmet!), the bruise on my head and the nearly shredded elbow (also thank goodness for my long-sleeved shirt!) tell a different story! As well as the large bruise on my bottom and bruises up and down, inside and out of my left thigh. I have been bucked off many times in my life. Sort of comes with the territory of training and riding horses, but not so violently in about 45 years of horse interaction!

I have spent pretty much my whole life working with and studying horses. I do not want to give it up. I have many other skills to use in this area of my passion that are better developed, and more beneficial to myself, the horses and the people I desire to support. I want to continue to ride my older horses, focusing on building our skills in riding, and I want to build on our individual health and strength. Riding young horses is more likely to jeopardize those goals than help me get there.

I am an advanced middle-aged woman with physically limiting abilities. I am not a very good quitter, which leads me to hang on to some things much longer than I should. The thing is, with this situation, I don’t have to quit what I love, just shift gears so I can focus my energies on the parts I enjoy more, and at which I am better! I used to be better at this part, too. I used to enjoy it much more, but I think it is time for me to trust this part of it to a younger, more capable generation. This way, I can focus on my passion and my message without worrying about dying! It’s time to don a new helmet, and hand over part of the reins. I don’t have to do this part! I can delegate. I have so much more to offer!

You can learn more about my desired and intentional journey HERE – still very much immersed in the equine world with a renewed focus!

By Tiago Almeida on Unsplash

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About the Creator

KJ Aartila

A writer of words in northern WI with a small family and a large menagerie.

My Substack

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