Your Pocket Guide For How To Not Give A Crap

I don't know about you, but I've been seeing a lot of self-doubt and perfectionist tendencies flying around lately. There must be a sale on somewhere.

As a recovering closet perfectionist and former self-confidence-challenged life traveler, I reflect over the journey, feeling into my younger self spaces where I held anxiety and worry for all the wrong reasons. With a bit of common sense plus reading and listening skills, all I really did have to worry about at the time were flying cockroaches. Click here for that explanation.

Considering that if you are reading this, you’ve successfully beat the odds by surviving a global pandemic—A FREAKING GLOBAL PANDEMIC!!!—I think you should definitely cut YOU some slack.

Songwriter and transformational coach Trina Harmon said, “The first 40 years of childhood are always the hardest.” And I totally agree as she elaborated that there are life lessons that need not be long ones to learn. I believe I got some on this one AND I’m also over 40 years so here goes:

 Remember you only get one life. In it, there are a lot of once-only moments. Take your pick: Once for your first day at kindergarten. One time for a first school field trip. First crush. First kiss. First job. Climbing your first mountain. Watching your first sunrise. Losing your first friend. Your virginity. Your sanity for a while. This tumultuous mix of moments on your once only life ride is a masterpiece canvas reminding you of just how much you’ve lived, warts and all.

"Ask your higher wisdom if it is not true that without worry, you would have arrived exactly where you are now, and more pleasantly. Doubt is the rabbit's foot of fear. Worry and fear are not tickets on the express train. They are extra baggage. You were going that way anyway."

–Emmanual's Book II The Choice for Love

Think of everything you’ve endured and how many more firsts lie ahead in unexplored glory. To fully experience life, throw out the societal assessment criteria. When you are fully immersed in enjoying, developing, and creatively expressing yourself (think about it), you won’t really care what anyone has to say about it.

 Your voice is unique, don’t squash it! You’ve probably heard repeatedly that there is nobody like you in the world. You are a one-of-a-kind intricate embodiment of human form. We-eeell, this might not be entirely true. You may very well have a doppelgänger as many others have discovered; human beings formerly unbeknownst, that look just like them. Perhaps the mold wasn’t discarded after you arrived in the physical sense.

What is unique to you is your voice, your particular viewpoint, message, destiny, and life path. There isn’t an algorithm in existence complex enough to replicate you with the distinctive and constantly changing vibration emanating into this world that is you.

When stifling your individual way of sketching, cooking, or articulating (etc.), be mindful that you may essentially be rescinding unrepeatable miraculous events that have the potential to alter life as it is known.

Imagine a planet without a Master Sun Tzu, Chief Sitting Bull, Marcus Mosiah Garvey, Mother Theresa, Bruce Lee, Tina Turner, Diego Maradona, Banksy, or insert your admired role model here_____. If any such persons had hidden their self-expression and gifts because they felt too powerless, weird, poor, uneducated, short, or insignificant (add your excuse here____), would life be very different? Add a ton of other “reasons” but the outcome is the same. Silence. A deafening void similar to that end result of you becoming voiceless because of a prevailing opinion that doesn’t have the faintest comprehensive understanding of who you are or why you are here. Ignore ignoramuses. Live on point and on purpose.

 Be advised you get to write and rewrite the program. Nothing has to be accepted at face value. If conditions exist that you find distasteful, there is the capacity for redress in that original way that only you can deliver.

American Comedian George Carlin was a high school dropout who covered every topic from politics to pro-life in his routines to a worldwide audience. Influence takes many forms with a myriad of outcomes. Thanks to his “Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television” routine, a Supreme Court ruling gave the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) the power to determine whether media broadcasts required censorship.

Once you are here on the planet, it’s a gamechanger.

Silva Method techniques helped me reprogram a conversation I had with a lawyer once. She was adamant that I’d never find an inexpensive flat in Central London. As we talked, I “wrote” internal code that every negative comment she made, actioned that I would with more certainty acquire a reasonably priced apartment. Truthfully, it was hilarious watching her exasperation as I kept smiling and nodding while she spouted doom and gloom. But guess who moved into the perfectly priced flat the next week? One of my favorite mottos: Nay the naysayers and YAY the yaysayers!

 Find your meditation mojo. The clear unburdened mind can reach the heights of the infinite. Due to how communication revolutionized information exchange, there are an abundant variety of meditation approaches at your disposal. And if breathwork, Zen Buddhist practices, or Mandala Meditation doesn’t float your boat, make up your own. No one has to know. I have done housework meditation, walking meditation, and kick-ass meditation just to name a few.

During my first prenatal class, the teacher spoke of modified rapid breathing techniques during intense end-stage labor and an instance of one laboring mother repeatedly saying, “Shit-shit-shit-shit” until the baby was born. It worked. Effectiveness is key. A technique(s) that frees your mind to be at its most relaxed and powerful is one of the best advantages in letting go of whatever everyone else is thinking/judging/gossiping/yelling so that you manifest your inner Rockstar.

A short word about responsibility:

Mastering the art of not giving a crap does not mean that this response is indicated for every situation. By all means, show compassion if someone faces life endangerment, is in pain, or if children and/or elderly are at risk/involved (etc.) I’m sure you see where I’m going with this.

Be respectful and appropriate.

So, while you are exuberantly not giving a crap about your cinematic selections, fashion choices, artistic expression, or the way you hang your toilet roll, make sure that you don’t give a rat’s ass turd in all the right places. And make certain that your inner light, talent, humor, wisdom, and magic always shine through.

Personal Note: If you found this piece in any way helpful or an enjoyable read, please be sure to like, share, and read the other stories on my profile below. Feel free to get in touch @thedaniwriter on Twitter.