WRITTING IS MY THERAPY

Okay, so I decided to go ahead and challenge myself. See...I love to write but don't do it as often or as serious about it as I should be, wanna be. The huge "C" word's are my biggest issues. I love what i write, how I write it, but I think that my vocabulary is limited, that I won't sound as smart as I know I am,or that I just plan suck. Now, don't get me twisted, I have had a lot of folks tells me I should write, like FOR REAL. To be totally honest, I ABSOFREAKINLUTLY luv luv luv writing. My thought, ideas, my past, my present.

So today I signed up for VOCAL... I'm excited, I'm honestly challenging myself... to write more,to stay current...I can easlier drift. I have this amazing ability to start stuff...Yeah, I'm an amazing starter. Like if I was a super hero my name would be " THE STARTER" (hope there's a finisher around...lol) That's has been my best talent, sooooooo...I signed up here on VOCAL, to pretty much hold myself accountable, to make sure I create, express, vomit , exhale...all that healing, growing, expanding stuff I should have been doing, but like "they" say..."BETTER LATE THAN NEVER". So I write, I write abot whatevercomes in this mentally unstable, crazy, umique, wtf mind of mine.

Today is a day I became increasingly fearless, I will mark this day on my calender 04/12/2021...Now today is 04/13/2021, but it was yesterday that i started this writing, submitted it and was returned because I didn't realize it had to be at lease 600 words. So I got up this morning, got out my french press and here I am. It is currently 6 am, but I've been up since 4:30 am. Trying to figure out how to lengten this piece without taking from it, or just putting too much in, as to where it's all over the place, (It probably all ready is) It's hard to not be the way my mind works. If you knoew me already, hopefully you will get to know me better through my writting, but if you did you'd know this is a big step, but the biggest is staying focused. See I suffer from ADHD and Bi Polar, so when I say my writting is therapy, I MEAN THAT SHIT...

My mind shoots amazing ideas, thought, project, pass shit, presnet stuff...like a tornado spinning in your head 24/7. Being able to come here on VOCAL and just let go throught my words of thought is going to be life changing. My mnd is full of overloading ideas, so much so, that they come, sit down, chat, maybe have a cup of coffee, or smoke a blunt... But they come, so clear, so firm, so abrupt....But they leave just as quickly, like a wonderful dream you know you dreamt, but for some reason, can't recall the details. So I keep pens all over my place just so I can write stuff down at anytime...for real.

Confidence and Courage...those are my "C" words, maybe with a dash of Crazy...Imma keep the crazy though. I figure if I'm paying for this maybe I'll get my butt up and write more. Hey, maybe it works, who knows, but I will find out. So if your out there and you have a passion, don't put it off, invite it like a family member you love so dearly and haven't seen in forever.... embrace it, hold it, kiss it on the forhead and invite it in, allow it to move in with you, sleep in the bed together and delight in the elation of it. Your happiness and peace of mind can only be achieved by "YOU"...So stop with the delays and push back...DO THE DAMN THING!!!

Today, is day 2, I'm here...well partly because I had to redo this piece but there was a time I would have been discouraged because it was denied, even if it was only due to the amount of words. I have never really been too determined to do stuff, it always came particularly easy. Even though it comes easy, I get scattered brain and move on to the next idea. I am totally going to do this, put myself on paper, allow anyone to see me. Now i'm all brave and shit....I'm gonna try to be. Now I'm all ready to get a shirt with a huge "C" on it. My confidence and courage are easing there way to the forefront and it feels amazing.

I have a lot to say, tell, express, question...a whole lot of me inside that's been screaming to be released. Well the key is to unlock your passion,( nobody has a key but YOU) don't be afraid of it. THAT PART OF YOU YOU HAVE CONVINCED YOURSELF NO ONE ELSE WILL UNDERSTAND...stop worrying about others, do what YOU must for YOU...

I AM....