Women of the Pandemic

It's difficult to put into words what I have felt all this time. It almost feels as if I had been poked and prodded at, swatting away their advances, stepping backwards little by little and having slipped off the edge of a cliff. Although, a prepared dive off a cliff with a parachute would feel more freeing than how I feel at this very moment. In absolute free fall there is nothing to grab onto. You are falling deeper and deeper into the abyss. The years rewind in a terrifying review until you end up at the bottom. It is the past. We are at the beginning. The speed of the fall has taken us down and left us nowhere to go.

COVID-19 took hold over women's transcendence when it entered the world. It has left us little to ourselves. Women have been transported back in time to what seems to be the years before the women's rights movement. Perhaps, that seems drastic to some. I encourage you to think back to the last time you felt capable of going beyond yourself. At first, being confined to the home did reveal multiple conveniences. Employers were being shown that people could indeed do their work from home without making their employees drive through rush hour traffic to an office every day. I could do laundry, let my dog out when needed and be done with work exactly at 5 o'clock. The introvert in me was thrilled when this temporary switch to remote working became permanent.

However, the rose-colored glasses I was looking through while viewing this change soon slipped down to the tip of my nose to expose a darker truth. I was unhappy as I was stagnant. While I was working remotely, I would think about all the other things I could be doing to improve the state of the home. I haven't dusted the living room in a while. I think I still have another load of laundry that needs to be done. Nagging sentiments like these carried on through my mind. I was able to slip away from my remote working to dust, vacuum, and do more household chores. My husband would be pleasantly surprised upon returning home from his workday to see all I had accomplished. Carrying on with my housework tasks and professional work tasks did bring about a sense of fulfillment.

Traditionally, it was the woman's role to keep the household in order as if it was her own domain. That is one of the only rights she had previously. Women then still weren't as challenged by these simple tasks, albeit it was their only career: housewife. Since the pandemic, women were being pushed into having several careers: housewife, stay-at-home mother, teacher, nurse, etc. The list goes on. Women were taking on these careers in spite of the career they set out to have before being married and having children (i.e., accountant, doctor, engineer). This is because women are generally believed to excel at these careers geared towards them. Now being required to support herself and her children confined to the home, the woman is the be-all and end-all when it comes to certain roles.

With many family dynamics at play, it can be said that some women have it easier than others. I felt I couldn't vent to my friends about what I was going through due to them having more responsibilities than me. We as women are all facing our own struggles through this pandemic though. I quickly grew tired of all the tasks of a housewife I had to keep up with. It felt like having 2 full-time jobs. My husband took notice and I confided in him about how I was feeling. He had said it was 'easier for me to complete these tasks since I was already at home'. He then apologized when I explained that I wasn't just doing these tasks out of the convenience of being at home, but I was doing them because I wanted to feel satisfied by doing more.

True satisfaction can only be derived by what one finds most meaningful to oneself. Since I've noticed this change in myself, I have begun to look for opportunities that will bring me this satisfaction I desperately need. I am relearning French. I write more. I began looking into new career opportunities. While safety was the main factor in isolation, there have also been setbacks for women all around the globe. Women felt alone, as if they had to do everything themselves and as if they had nobody to support them. We can now move forward, taking little steps, to start showing care for ourselves again. We will prosper.