Why I Want To Screw Up My Life This Year – And Start Over

Messing up your life and start over is a human right.

We have this ridiculous idea that love has to last forever, that good jobs are for life, that moving every six months is a symptom of not having ‘settled down’ and that patience and mediocrity are similar.

But what if screwing up everything, failing, ruining a marriage, or bankruptcy came to be acts of freedom? Of rebirth?

If there were no breakpoints in life, there would be no need to start over. So maybe we were not born to be faithful, monogamous, or sedentary. Perhaps life is more than a family picture on the fridge door, a Disneyland vacation package, or a beach house that we can’t afford.

This is a great year to screw up your life. And that's exactly what I plan to do.

Happiness is as casual as a drunk woman, and yet we waste our time trying to store it as mineral water

Life was made to be lived, objects were made to be controlled. The problem is that you are pretending to control your life while living for objects.

The life you live right now is your life, and it's a really beautiful one. But don't try to live it perfect.

Probably you have a million ideas and plans that you could have pursued, but you didn't. That's fine, you're a human being, and you make mistakes sometimes. Maybe you were too impatient or stuck in the past, or you didn't believe in your dreams enough.

There's only one thing you can possibly do about it: you have to grow up. You have to make room for the next person, the next You.

If you do want a life without pain (a happier, fuller and healthier life), stop trying to control everything that happens to you. Give up on regretting. Stop running around in circles trying to find happiness in the past. Stop lying to yourself trying to be someone else.

Don't hold yourself back with excuses. Just be happy on your own terms and timetable. Start over, no matter what other people say.

Go make things a heck of a lot better. 2021 is the perfect moment to do that.

The art of losing control

Dying is an art, like everything else. I do it exceptionally well. I do it so it feels like hell. I do it so it feels real. I guess you could say I've a call.

– Sylvia Plath

Some things are just meant to fail, fail, fail... This way we can fall through the cracks when our ideas about ourselves are broken, and then rebuild our destiny.

No matter how bad of a situation you find yourself in, you will eventually grow and change and improve. There's a point where we're going to live better, but you have to make some mistakes first.

Nietzsche wrote a lot about the Apollonian and Bacchic inclinations:

• The Apollonian (for Apollo, the God of arts and beauty) refers to uprightness, order, and ‘good’ behavior.
• Bacchic (for Bacchus, the God of wine) has to do with euphoria and lack of control.

We try so hard to be like Apollo that we become dull and withered. Overnight our pressure rises, our knees hurt, and we can’t sleep though we are completely exhausted. Life begins to deteriorate when you let it be that way.

What can you do about it?

Intercept your destiny.

Accept the possibility that messing up your life can save you from yourself. Start over. Be compassionate about you. Love yourself truly and deeply.

It is not as bad as it seems. Trust Me. Your pressure will come back to normal, the pain will disappear, and you will suddenly remember how it feels to sleep like a newborn.

Life will get better.

One day, you’ll fall in love again and, then, you might have 2.5 kids, or maybe 3.5 cats or a duck in the garden...

It does not matter, since you’ll be happier than ever.