Who You Are

A friend of mine recently asked me about how she should act on an upcoming date. Specifically, she wanted to know what to wear, what kind of food to order, and what to talk about. To me, this sounded like a ridiculous question because of course, my answer was for her to just be herself. I told her to wear whatever she wants, eat whatever she wants, and talk just like she would talk to anyone else. For me, it seemed like such an obvious answer, but so often people seem to ask me questions similar to this one, trying to be someone they’re not. And I feel like we all act that way every once in a while. We feel like we have to fit the norm or we assume people will like us better if we try to adopt a new personality.

But why do we think we have to change? Why do we so often try to put on an act just to impress others? So what if you’re a bit odd? A bit too talkative? Too emotional? Or too obsessed with certain television shows? We all have our quirks. We all have something that separates us from each other. We shouldn’t have to hide those qualities when meeting new people or getting to know others better. Instead, we should try to focus on the people that appreciate the way we are, not judge us for it.

Sure, it may seem natural to put on a mask when meeting new people or going on dates, but how are you supposed to get along with these new colleagues if you’re not even showing them the real you? If they think you’re odd or judge you, then so what? You never have to see them again if you don’t want to. You can go off and try to find better people. People you get along with and people that don’t look at your personality in a negative way.

For me, when I first meet new people, I tend to be very shy. I’ve always been worried that I’ll say the wrong thing or make a fool out of myself. But when I acted that way in the past, no one really stuck around too long in my life. And while it can be hard for me to break out of my shell at times, now I always try my hardest to just act natural and hope that they like me for who I am. Because if they do, then I know for a fact that those are the kind of people that I want in my life. Life’s too short to waste your time with people that don’t know the real you or that don’t care enough to figure you out.

I know that many will argue that there are some situations where you absolutely cannot be yourself in such as schools, interviews, or jobs. And yes, you do need to be slightly more professional in those types of settings, but that doesn’t mean flat out don’t be yourself. I remember during my very first interview in my life, I was extremely awkward, trying to force myself to say what I thought they wanted me to hear. Trying to remember the perfect interview answers that I had rehearsed over and over again. And unfortunately, I did not get hired. But then, for my next interview, I decided not to stress myself out about being exactly what they wanted. Instead, I talked to them honestly and as much like myself as I could, and this time, I was hired almost immediately. I would never want to work at a job, attend a school, or be in any situation that did not allow me to be who I really am. It’s not worth it to live your life pretending to be someone you’re not.

So next time you go out to meet new people, to go on a first date, or to go to an interview, just be yourself. Don’t lie, don’t hide who you are, and don’t try to be someone you’re not. We are all unique and it is important for us to stand up for who we are so that we can truly find out where we belong.