Who Do I Feel I Am Meant To Be In This Life?

This is the eternal dilemma of every ambitious person on earth. And not only ambitious people. Each and every one of us ponders the ubiquitous questions as to why are we here, what are we supposed to be doing, and how do we do it… It is complicated because nobody has a manual to living your best life, and the ones that I am trying to spit out through Vocal Media, are mere directions and advice, but nobody, and I say nobody, can ever answer the question for you unless it is coming from yourself. So now that I have this out of the way, let’s help you narrow down your vision and your most feasible ways of getting there.

Let me premise it first. We live in such a loud world. Advertising at every hour of every minute of every second with products that promise to improve our lives dramatically, in fact, we were born to just try out their products. Marketing is used to deceive and the difference between lying and promoting now is dimmer. Of course, how can we leave out Social Media. As if companies, organizations, celebrities, politicians and public figures were not enough, now we have EVERYBODY talk talk talk talk talk to us and at us about their lives. There’s literally vlogs out there of people just talking about their lives on YouTube. Some of them really are 3 hours long. 3 effing hours long. What the hell. Leave alone the delusion that the makers of these videos are seeking validation to cringe-worthy levels, but I cannot believe my eyes when I see people having that much time to waste and watch their content. You will never find what you are meant to be if this is where you are directing your energies. I also need to have a vomit moment of the life influencer vloggers that sat there and thought, “I wanna vlog about my life” a.k.a. “I need validation about just breathing and existing”.... Thank you reality TV.

And you know why any of this trash is not good for you? Because you are not meant to find the answers outside of yourself. Doing this is analogous to a musician seeking music engineers at an accounting firm. Chances are low if none at all. Even when you are left at your own devices and you are alone, maybe strolling in nature, maybe stuck in traffic, maybe sitting on your porch or walking your dog, and with a jumbled look on your face, you are wondering: Why am I not fulfilled? Why am I unhappy? Why do I feel like something is missing? You dismiss these questions with aghast because you might not be ready to face the answers. Because the truth it’s hard. The truth is uncomfortable and it is NOT your fault. Our human brains are not wired for risks, but are wired for preservation. We have one thing going for us, though. Courage, and intellect. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, so go take that leap of faith. An upcoming old age of regret can be a pricey outcome to pay. Yes, old age is coming from everybody, you will not be young forever. Nobody can defeat death.

Sure initially your life standard might look more concave, might do up & down and repeat, but I guarantee you, that that graph, will look the same even if you sit on your butt all day long. Choose your struggles, because struggle per se is inevitable. Please do not tell me that you fear what people think if you take on a new path. Do not have the impostor syndrome. Life’s too short for that. Yesterday, February 24, 2021, on TikTok a guy talked about people that choose to NOT post on social media. He said, humble yourself, because you are unimportant (true). Because we all are self-absorbed into our lives (true), so just post anyway. I partially agreed with the statement that we live under the spotlight effect, which makes us think that we are thought by other people at disproportionate amounts during the day, while in actuality, people are giving us maybe 5-10 seconds of their mental energy and move on to their own main characters. Themselves. However, I beg to differ on why people like me do not post about their private lives online, and you shouldn't either.

1. They’re private, that’s what private means, and if you are intrusive and nosy about my life, that’s the more reason why it has to be private

2. Not seeking validation. Not needing it. That's for the weak.

3. The instances I have posted regularly online, something somewhere always jinxed my life, and now, I have been off social media with no private life postings for a year and a half, and I do not plan on posting ever again.

4. When I did not post online, I was magically less inclined to scroll through my feed as well because I realized that everything is a subtle competition on who fakes the best, and quite frankly. I. DO. NOT. CARE. WHAT. YOU. DO. WITH. YOUR. LIFE.

5. All of the above was incredibly distracting to me finding my happiness and my life mission because the pressure to perform for the human circus was too great and consumed too much of my time and energy.

Erika Jayne has a very underrated song that I think should be my life slogan & the song really went under the radar. It cusses, so you’re warned, but it renders a crystal clear idea about all the clutter, noise and tactics we try to pull on one another on this earthly plane. The song goes:

“How many Fs do I give? How many Fs do I give?

None. Not one. Zero. Zero. Zero. Done!”

*Mic Drop*

*Exit The Room*

*Abandon The Circus*