When It Feels Like You May Drown, Just Keep Swimming

Dory serves as a role model.

In the movie, Finding Nemo, she survives the dangers of the vast ocean surrounded by sharks, swims through the forbidden trench, talks to whales, and continues to inspire Marlin to “Just keep swimming.”

Characters who personify perseverance commonly appear in Disney movies, which seems natural considering Walt Disney lived by the slogan, “If you can dream it, you can do it.” In his bigger than life existence he suffered numerous failures before finding both personal and professional success. Following his lead, Disney studios present to youth characters who break from the expected to challenge the difficult and conquer a struggle.

Some characters learn from experience that there is no value in the word can’t. Simba return to his home, a place he believed he could not remain after his father’s death, to fight his Uncle Scar, the villain, and assume his place as ruler of the land. Belle accepted her fate to live with the beast only to fall in love with her prince and live happily ever after. Mulan hide her identity to take her aging father’s place in battle; she goes against all odds to be instrumental in saving her country. And my favorite, when Ariel learns to walk on land, she unites the humans with the Merpeople to live in peace.

Children arrive into this world screaming and ready to challenge the environment.

Though they are little, they know how to get what they want. As they learn to walk, the process becomes a repetition of falling down and getting up. And at an early age they learn to accept the life they are given or to rebel and create the life they desire.

When my daughters were young, Disney movies with their brave, courageous characters demonstrated the value of working to actualize their dreams. As I observed my girls growing, their innocence and resilience inspired me to keep swimming.

Sometimes during difficult times, I craved to swaddle them and protect them from conflict; however, I knew conflict made them stronger. Like the pearl, the irritants of life polished them into beautiful, talented, loving women.

Little did I know, a challenge waited off stage for my eldest daughter.

At the young age of 33, she suffered a debilitating stroke that limited her speech and paralyzed her right side. She responded just as her Disney role models patterned; she just kept swimming.

Many stories record her days in the hospital and through rehabilitation; each story shares her determination.

Read – A Survival Strategy for Trauma: Laugh

However, her life 22 months post stroke demonstrates how she grew the tail of a mermaid and conquered the raging waves that threatened to drown her spirit. With each rotation of the moon the tides pulled the water to her shores and invited her to jump in. When she could have laid on the beach and lived vicariously, she chose to dive in, sometimes dog paddling, sometimes she floated, once or twice her head went under until loved one guided her to solid ground, and eventually she learned to swim.

Kari lives life to the fullest.

She currently cannot return to work as a kindergarten teacher full time but does volunteer a couple hours three days a week. When she started working with the students, she created a PowerPoint presentation to share with the children explaining why she has difficulty talking, walking and limited use of her right hand. She loves working with small groups and already is referring to a couple as “my boys”. Their love and support is reciprocal.

Events drain her energy thus require afternoon naps daily but then she begins again revived and ready to greet her own children when they get home from school.

Recently, Kari started experimenting with using her left hand to produce chalk art.

Never an artist before, she is beginning life with new goals and experimenting with options. She tries new activities as she retrains her mind to functions differently.

A couple weeks ago our family (grandchildren, mother-in-law, grandparents, sister, husbands — the whole crew) gathered to play miniature golf. Recognizing Kari’s disadvantage playing with her left hand, the family wore oven mitts on our right hands and played with our left. We were not accurate; the game moved slowly; nobody kept score and Kari was the only player to hit a hole in one.

Challenges interrupt our plans, often changing our direction completely making the future unknown and scary. If we stop kicking and moving forward, we sink, either physically as we give into the obstacles or mentally as we freeze in the icy waters of fear.

But wait — there is another option that offers satisfaction, happiness, energy, success . . . everything a body could possibly dream about. Just keep swimming.

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Follow Kari journey by reading her stories.

Asking for Help is Difficult but It is Harder to Survive Alone

Make it Happen With a Can-Do Attitude

Kari’s journey is shared in a book on Amazon.

The stories begin when her father and I receive a phone call saying she is in the hospital and follow our family through her trauma with a focus on how we all learned to accept help and never give up.

Understanding the Power of Not Yet: Accepting the Challenges of New Beginnings