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What to do when your dream fails?

by Talara Nolan about a month ago in how to
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Ever had a plan, a dream that you were getting close to fall through? What do you do to pick yourself back up?

What to do when your dream fails?
Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash

We all have dreams for our lives. We all have dreams and hopes. We all have a dream of what we would like our lives to be like. Dreams and goals are important to keep you moving forward. Working towards something can be a great motivator to improve your life. Sometimes we even get close to a dream.

Maybe your dream is to be married, with a few kids. Maybe you are dating something that you think you will marry, but then you break up.

Maybe your dream is to be an actor. You move to LA, do auditions. Maybe you get to the final audition, thinking that you made it. But maybe they don't choose you after all.

Having a dream and a goal that you are working towards is important. But when you get your hopes up, focused on this one goal, and it falls through, that can be devastating. It is easy in those times to feel lost and depressed, unsure of what to do or where to go next.

I am the type of person that gets focused on something very easily. For example, if I fall in love. Then I will dream of our life together, and go all in. But when it falls through, it's a very long and hard fall. I get very depressed and lost very easily. My problem is that I get in my head, and get focused on my dream of what I want to happen. Regardless of what reality actually is. So when reality finally hits me, as it is bound to happen, it really hits me.

But what do you do when the dream fails? How do you move forward to a place where you can find a new dream?

Allow yourself to grieve your lost.

No matter what you lost, what dream was crushed or why. Allow yourself to feel your feelings. Be in it. If you try to hide it, then it will only make moving on that much harder. So allow yourself to feel, grieve and cry to let it all out. So that you can start over with a clean slate.

Find a new dream, and new goals.

It's important to start working towards something new. If making a new goal, a new dream, is too much for you. Then start with some smaller goals. Maybe you do really want to be married, but jumping into another relationship is just too much for you. Then start smaller. Start a 30-day challenge, take a class. Having new goals is so important.

Work on yourself.

Really work on improving yourself. Get a new hair cut, start working out, eat healthier. Mainly to improve your mental self more than anything. It will improve your mood as well as your self-esteem, making you feel much better about yourself. And something how feels better about themselves will find it hard to not be happy. Also work on your emotional and mental self. Maybe it's seeing a therapist for the first time. Or maybe it's reading some self-help books. Improve every aspect of yourself. Improve every aspect of yourself that you don't like.

Find some way to let it out.

Feeling alone is a terrible feeling, and not helpful when you are trying to improve your life. Find a way to get out your feelings. To a friend, therapist or family member. If you are really alone, start a blog or join an online community. Find some way that you can feel connected to other people, so that you don't feel so alone.

Put yourself out there again.

No matter what your dream was, a job or a relationship. Make sure that you start to put yourself back out there. The longer you sit with it, sit in the sadness, then the harder it will be to get back out there when you decided you are ready.

Start daily affirmations.

There is something so powerful about telling yourself every day great things. Telling yourself how great you are, telling yourself that you deserve what you want. I know it might sound silly, and you most likely will feel silly when you first start. But it gets easier, and it might be the most powerful thing that you do for yourself.

I know that it might be hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. But I promise it will get better. No matter what happened, everything will be okay. It will get better. Just because one dream didn't work out, doesn't mean that you won't get a new dream. There will be a new one, maybe a better one. And know that whatever is meant to happen to you will happen no matter what. So if something doesn't work, then that just means that dream wasn't meant for you. But that something else is.

-T

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About the author

Talara Nolan

I am a single parent to a 4 year old girl and live with her in Canada. I love working out and have lost over 45 lbs over time. I would love to share what I have learned and all the things that have worked for me over time.

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