What Exactly Is Happiness?

I often find myself looking back at old pictures of myself, 20-something year old me, and the photos that riddle my many social media accounts. To most, it would appear that girl is, by most accounts, extremely happy. Hell, I even fooled myself a couple of times into thinking, maybe...But, alas, I know the real answer is no. In truth, I even pity that girl, while envying her ignorant bliss at the same time.

hap·pi·ness

/ˈhapēnəs/:

"The state of being happy."

Ironically the descriptive sentence is:

"She struggled to find happiness in her life."

I dug a little deeper.

hap·py

/ˈhapē/

adjective:

"Feeling or showing pleasure or contentment."

So once again I turn to Google Dictionary:

con·tent·ment

/kənˈtentmənt/:

"A state of happiness and satisfaction."

Google is just as confused as me, it would seem. Every definition was just an entrance into the same confusing circle I have been trapped in for years trying to figure out what exactly happiness means for me.

There was a point where, like others, when questioned on what makes me happy I would respond matter of fact,

"My daughter of course."

I know now that while of course my daughter can be a key component of what makes me happy, my happiness simply cannot lie within someone else. Happiness starts on the inside.

Or does it.

Maybe happiness is just a word, an adjective to be exact.

ad·jec·tive:

noun

"a word or phrase naming an attribute, added to or grammatically related to a noun to modify or describe it."

An adjective is merely a noun, as happiness is merely an adjective. It's all so confusing. When I think about the complexity of it all it makes me question, is anyone really happy? Everything is just a blur of adjectives and nouns and people trying to live up to the unrealistic expectations we as a society have put in place to try to impress one another. Is it worth it? Are any of us really happy? Or are we all just out to "happy" better than the next person?

Have we all heard the expression, "misery loves company."

What if that expression was, "happiness loves company."

What if instead of trying to out due the next person we rejoiced in the fact that they were doing just as good as the next person. If we didn't out due one another in one way or another would we still have an economy? How would promotions be determined if in turn with equal happiness we were all viewed the same, none better than the next.

I wish I had answers to all these theories. However, I've come to a place where I feel like MY happiness is complacency.

com·pla·cen·cy

/kəmˈplāsənsē/

noun

"A feeling of smug or uncritical satisfaction with oneself or one's achievements."

And feeling this sense of complacency regardless of where I am at that particular point in life. I know now that not every phase of life will be perfect. Many will be far from it actually. However, life is what you make it. So why can't happiness be what you make it as well?

Guess what?

IT CAN BE 😁

So, I don't envy her anymore, that young me in the pictures.

I admire her for believing in happiness that I began to doubt existed as I aged. I am HAPPY to have lived that part of my life. I know now that relying on myself for happiness is all that I can do. When you put your happiness in the hands of others you tend to find yourself disappointed and typically the happiness is short-lived.

Reference:

Kudos to Google Dictionary 😘