What Does It Really Take to Change Your Life?
The surprisingly important part that everyone ignores
There are a lot of programmes and products out there on the internet that claim they can help change your life. It's to the point where most of us just tune it out, even if we're looking for that content, because we're scared of getting scammed. And we should be, there are a lot of unscrupulous people on the internet.
But even when you find something legit, and there is a lot of legitimate information on the internet, it can feel really hard to trust what you're hearing. Maybe it's the fear of falling for something that still lingers even when you can see that real people have done what it is you so desperately want. The laptop lifestyle, living your passion every day and actually making real money from it. They've done it, so it has to be doable.
And it is! But the fact is that most of us who see this and want this will get in our own way again and again.
Why do we do this to ourselves?
Most of our thinking and perceptions were picked up in childhood and then probably reinforced in our environments as we entered adulthood. Any challenges to our ways of thinking were either met with hostility or had small but powerful transformational effects on our minds.
The way we think and the language we use has the most impact on whether or not we'll actually change our lives to live in a way that is more aligned with our true selves and true purpose. After years and years of seeking, I've come to realise that success, in the sense of truly living on your own terms (can there be any other definition?) has almost nothing to do with anything external and has everything to do with how you think.
Nothing will sabotage you more than negative thinking, self talk that says you can't do it, there isn't time, this is stupid, that it's okay for other people but it won't work for me, etc. The list of nonsense chat really does go on forever. But this is something we likely all deal with, even if we were lucky enough to have the world's more supportive parents; something in your life will have likely knocked your confidence and caused you to question everything about yourself. But our responses in these moments are the most significant moments of our lives. This is really about how you are choosing to live and it's a choice whether or not you're aware of it, whether or not you feel like it's a choice.
We can reprogramme ourselves. But it takes conscious effort.
To make it simple, there are two main types of language, or self talk. Conflict language and architect language; can you see where this is going? Pay attention to your language and shift it to a more powerful language. Architect language builds and helps us focus on our goals. We're in control of our personal stories, and that happens in our words that create our stories that then creates our reality. What story are you telling yourself? Examine your mind and your life, can you see how the way you think about a situation makes it that way? Can you think about it differently?
Hear the language that you use and shift it to a more powerful language
This is not to say in any way that a simple shift to hoky seeming-positive thinking will instantly make you rich and have you jetsetting around the world; the challenges are real and hard. But they are real and hard anyway, so are you just going to stay stuck and keep burying your head in the sand? It really comes down to resilience, and that's a skill you can build.
So here is the good news. You have the power! You can make these choices. They won't always be easy, often times they won't be. But if your desire is strong, then you really can do anything. The aim is to live in alignment with your truest self. Most of us have been brought up to keep our heads down and get on with it. That's fine, but there is so much more. So much fulfillment, strength, confidence and happiness is waiting on the other side when you decide you're going to live your life and not just get through it.
The only job you have on this planet is to figure out what it is you have to offer. That's your business, that's your personal brand, everything you do in this world that can offer any true lasting happiness comes from this place inside you. Use your language to make it happen. Everything starts with a story.