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Valentines Day Is For Everyone (Really)

If you are currently single, there is no need to miss out.

By Justine CrowleyPublished about a year ago 9 min read
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Valentines Day Is For Everyone (Really)
Photo by freestocks on Unsplash

The point of the story is that many of us know how Valentines Day started. We all know that Valentines Day is on February the 14th. For those of you who are attached, loved up, and perhaps happily married; it is a chance to really tell your partner how you really feel. Then again, when it comes to being in a relationship of that kind; isn't every day Valentines Day? I mean, us humans have always had that need to be seen and heard, where according to relationships expert Dr Gary Chapman; we all have our own unique love language, in how we prefer to be loved. The spirit of this momentous day is all about gifts galore (thank you capitalism); yet what if your love language is not gifts, as in bouquets of flowers, chocolate fountains, and expensive meals? It really makes you stop and think as to what your love language is? You could have more than one of Dr Chapman's five love languages. It is great to know, because that is how you can communicate your needs to your partner. Valentines Day (if not any day of the week) is perfect for that. It is how you express love to that person. You and I know that love has no boundaries. #celebrateyourrelationship

By Medina Catering on Unsplash

In all seriousness, you no longer need to see February the 14th as a curse, however as a reminder of the abundance that you do not have at this point in your life. Once negative emotions about this day, can now be seen as a blessing.

There are a diverse range of reasons as to why someone is single at any given moment, and it could or could not be from their own past actions and/or indiscretions. It is what it is.

Whether you are single or attached; you know that (deep down or consciously) that the relationship you are always going to have, until you take your very last breath on this earth, is the one that you are going to have with yourself, whether you like it or not. Therefore, why not spend a bit of time on February the 14th (if you are single) to be your own Valentine, and therefore engage in some self love activity guilt and taboo free. The key is to find something that aligns with your own values. For example, if your love language is quality time, then you could take a day off work, and do something for you, that you have been meaning to do for quite some time now. Fill up your own cup. Or you can just set some time aside anytime you choose to. If you love language is gifts, then why not buy yourself that bunch of flowers, by not going without this time. Your self love, combined with your self esteem and confidence will automatically lift. Spend this day on yourself. Being single happens for a reason. Your relationship status should never define your self worth on Valentines Day; if not at any time. You are not damaged goods. You deserve to be alive and breathing fresh air, as much as the other person. That way you are also raising your life force energy and vibration for the next Valentines Day, where who knows, your circumstances could be completely different. That of course is completely up to you. It all boils down to perspective. You are here. Not everyone has made it to this point. You are showing up for others in a myriad of forms in this game called life, no matter how hard or otherwise your life has been up to this point. How about showing up to yourself on February the 14th? Do not allow anyone or anything to take away your joy. #celebrateyourself

By MIO ITO on Unsplash

Some of us have friends, while yours truly appreciates that there may be some people out there who are friendless for a myriad of reasons once again. The Beatles have never sung wiser words as "I get by with a little help from my friends." Even if you consider yourself to be your own best friend in the first place. Good friends cheer us on when we have a few wins, and help us commiserate when setback central appears. Good friends help you in a crisis. There is nothing wrong in celebrating with your friends on Valentine's Day if you are single and free as a bird so to speak. Depending on your friends love language; your thanks and appreciation of them can come with a thank you card, or an invite out to lunch on this day. In most friendship circles, there are a mix of relationship statuses out there. Who knows, you might just cheer up a friend who broke up with their partner on the wrong side of Valentines Day; or their partner could have just announced a divorce out of the blue. You never know unless you ask. We can all find a little love for our friends.

By Susan G. Komen 3-Day on Unsplash

The same is true with family, even though we did not pick them in the first place. (Although I did pick my foster family, and in turn, they picked me. I digress.) For example, if you have an elderly family member in a care facility, and you are single; why not use that day to go and visit them, or make a special phone call. It is the thought that counts. I am personally impressed that my uncles nursing home are putting on a celebration for Valentines Day for all of its residents, which is super impressive. It goes to show that you do not need to have tied the knot, or to be loved up, in order to feel a bit more warmth and love on February the 14th. Just find a way to go the extra mile for a loved one; or even give some of your spare change to a homeless person on the streets.

No relationship has ever tanked when you put in a bit more grit and effort in using some initiative in going the extra mile.

Personally speaking, I am single, yet I am grateful to have my recent ex as a platonic friend in this life, as well as another almost boyfriend in a similar circumstance. Just to share, I will be eight hours away from home on February the 14th 2023 (as at the time of writing this) to stay with my foster mother for a week. Again, showing up for others, and for putting in the work to preserve and grow that relationship pays dividends immediately; if not over time. #celebrateyourfamilyandfriends

By Amber Kipp on Unsplash

According to The Economist, combined with independent research from GfK (a market research company); speaking of friendships - did you know that two thirds of Americans own a four legged friend? And that people living in Britain, France, and Switzerland spend the most on their pets out of all of the European countries? Furthermore, according to The American Bureau of Labor Statistics; the average household spending on pets rose from $460 per annum in 2013 to $770 in 2021, despite pandemic restrictions. That goes to show that us humans spend a fortune on our pets. It all makes sense, as dogs and cats provide unconditional love to their owners, depending on the bonding experience. On Valentines Day, finder.com has reported that 31.5 million American adults will buy a present for their kitties on this special day. Think about it. That number is way greater than the population of Australia; another wealthy nation in its own right. I'm not kitten. (Yes, pun intended.)

Whether you own a dog who does not stop jumping all over you, or a feisty cat; or even a lazy turtle, or a goldfish who swims in circular motion; the truth of the matter is that our pets make great companions at the best of times; if not on Valentines Day. The video below goes to show that (for example) we do not deserve dogs, yet having personally owned pets in the past; they bring oodles of joy into the owners world.

If you are not a pet owner for whatever reason, yet you love the company of our furry friends; then why not spend some time cuddling up to, or playing with a few cats at a nearby cat cafe. Or volunteer at an animal shelter if possible? Or offer to walk a friends dog for them (an act of service). #celerateourfurryfriends

By Artem Gavrysh on Unsplash

Us humans are designed to not live in isolation, and therefore we are designed to connect and engage with one another. That is the spirit of having a healthy community around you. With the hustle and bustle of everyday life; we tend to sometimes forget about our essential workers, and others in certain professions; who are the fabric of society. What about the bus drivers who safely get us from A to B? The barista who makes your coffee every day? The healthcare workers who come to our aid when ill or injured? What about the police officers who keep our streets safe? The school teachers who are educating your kids? What about the school crossing supervisors who enable your child/children to cross the road to school safely? Just to name a few unsung heroes that make our lives easier. You can give them a gratitude jar from a $2 shop, decorated with a heart, with a few notes of gratitude for their service. Or you can drop off treats to your local ambulance or fire station as a token of appreciation for the service these staff provide to the community. Trust me, these simple acts brighten up a volunteer or service workers day. And on Valentines Day? Extra special. #celebratecommunity

There you have it. I appreciate that Valentines Day can be a sad occasion; especially if you lost a loved one on this day, or a partner that you were seriously in love with; yet it was never meant to be. The song below might help you through this challenging time, romantically speaking.

Otherwise, my gut tells me that article will inspire some of you, and thereby help the remaining of you single folk out there in making the most of this day, focusing on what is great in your life (gratitude) rather than feeling like you are either missing out, or that you are a lost cause for not having that special someone to celebrate the day with. There are options to celebrate it now, for you, and for the sake of your mental health.

By Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

Happy Valentines Day.

By Tyler Nix on Unsplash

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About the Creator

Justine Crowley

Freelance Internet Moderator/UX Writer/UX Consulting Designer/Graphic Designer

http://smashwords.com/profile/view/JustineCrowley

linkedin.com/in/justinecrowley

Lives in Sydney, Australia. Loves life.

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