Using the "Feeling of Lost" as Power to Find Yourself Again
Sometimes you must sit in the darkness to see the light.
A friend said to me once, that she believes we each have a purpose and a design for our lives already drawn out and when we feel much resistance and strife it is because we have strayed. Many of us, many times, have felt this way. These could be signs from the universe telling us to redirect. It could be opportunities that we need to walk into for a lesson learned. I know personally I have been in that moment many times. Each time I've fallen, I've come back stronger and wiser. And with each piece of wisdom I've gained, I've also come to learn myself more. I have made many mistakes. I have strayed quite often. But each of those times I have discovered something beautiful, important and unraveling.
Four years ago was one of many to come big discovery moments. It was one of those moments that I had to step into one of the darkest places to see the light. In order to find myself again I needed to isolate myself. I needed the space of nothingness...
"I find I may have let myself fall off of the cobblestone path I had set myself onto. My life has been a bit of a whirlwind and I’ve allowed myself to get swept up and lost in it. I do not blame life or others for how I’ve veered or how I feel, for it is myself that allowed myself to stray. I allowed myself to not keep up with my routine of daily yoga, to not watch nature to find peace as I had been doing before. It was myself that allowed myself to lose my way.
Last night I sat in the pitch dark and I opened my heart, my mind, my soul and I let the messages of the universe flow into me. I had continued to practice daily meditation, but I do not believe I had been doing so openly as I should have been. The thing about redirecting your life and following new paths is that it is a learning process as well; a development of discipline and order too. Well yesterday when I was overcome by anxiety I crashed under the pressure. I knew it was time to pull myself up again, to gain the discipline back that I needed.
I believe we each have light and darkness in us. Without darkness there can be no light. We shouldn’t fear darkness, we should embrace it, for there can also lay solitude. Every one of us has our own struggles and with each one is an opportunity to learn, to grow, to become stronger.
So last night, I sat in the darkness, where I could see nothing with my eyes, and I listened, I felt, and my healing began again. I could feel the energy flow into me, I could see (in my mind) a path. It took me a few hours of sleep after for my meditation experience to fully process throughout me but I woke up feeling refreshed, my mind in clarity again.
I started the day with yoga in the field. Felt the breeze blow against my face, listened to the birds sing, and felt the grass between my toes. My heart beat slowed and my breath became calm and steady. The sense of empowerment raised in me as I came to feel more balanced again.
I still have doubts, and fears, and I know life will still carry challenges for me but I feel better readied to take them on again so "come what may" world for I am returning to the ground again."
Since then I have had several of these revelation moments. I've learned to make space for them and to use them as opportunities to grow into so much more. These moments of darkness are where the possibility of shining the brightest are.