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True to Me

Swapping Crowns

By Auntie KayPublished 3 years ago 5 min read
2
My New Crown

"Good intentions"... I wore them like a royal robe while trying to straighten my crown of persistence that started lose its shine by the day. December 31, 2020 was the day I returned my tarnished counterfeit copper crown and purchased a solid gold one that weighed as heavy as its purchase price. The copper crown was riddled with "dreams, aspirations, fantasies and good intentions" while the gold crown is riddled with "goals, strategies, truth, and determination". The price? Recognition, admission, acceptance and honesty. A hefty price for someone to pay who was used to running and hiding without realizing it.

It took for me to stop hiding from my spouse, who was trying so hard to pry open the door to the room with the magic mirror on the other side. He was just "perfect" to me and I was "flawed" and didn't feel that I deserved him, so I hid my true self from him as long as possible. Then I was running from me, but I was only running on a treadmill, instead of pavement. I was going absolutely nowhere. I recognized and was running from everything in my family that I didn't want to manifest in my own life; not realizing that it already had. I was running from the wisdom of the magic mirror that would have been revealed if I would've just stood still in front of it long enough to receive it. The price to pay for swapping crowns was that I had to stop running and hiding by recognizing and admitting to the generational curses and acknowledging the useless vicious cycles in my life. I had to face the curses and cycles that seemed to devour my very existence and purpose for living. I had to accept who I was, remember who God created me to be, and then stop playing with this precious thing called life and take the first step towards what was meant to be.

Last year I came to realize that one of my biggest problems was not Covid-19, the crash in the economy, the loss of my job, the clash of political views or the deterioration of my marriage; it was "ME". That's it, just "me", but THIS year I'm going to do something that I have never done before...

Keep my New Year's resolution, for real this time.

"New Year, New You" is the motto that is unanimously proclaimed before, on and after January 1st. This is also the same motto that comes before numerous failed New Year's resolutions, including all of mine. Not this year. My grandmother once told me that as long as you have breath in your body you have a chance to make things right or ask for forgiveness for things you can no longer change. Those words ring in harmony with the ambitions that have currently replaced my past "good intentions" and failed "New Year, New You" resolutions.

In 2021, I am starting, going through and ending the year off by swapping crowns to help break these cycles and curses. I have always lived my life being true and loyal to everyone else, putting everyone else's needs before my own and giving my last to everyone who whispers, "I need...".

I went through 2020 robbing Peter to pay Paul, only to turn around and rob Paul the next day to pay Peter back the same money I should have never taken from him in the first place. And this vicious cycle continued all year long all for the sake of "time". I needed time to find another source of income to pay back both Peter and Paul at the same time to finally see those much needed debt free days and restful nights. No more. Never again.

Never again will I see robbing Peter to pay Paul as an option for buying time or getting ahead this year. Never again will I allow myself to keep digging a hole without first grabbing a ladder, never again will I allow the failures and struggles of my ancestors become a hurdle that I have to jump over. I have chosen to swap the inherited rusted out crown of metal that lacks major value for a dense lustrous yellow precious metal of Group 11 (Ib), Period 6, of the periodic table...Gold.

With my gold crown I will press on in 2021 and become a well known successful author, a successful business investor, and restored wife, mother and child of God. I will stop playing with life, because it is not playing with me. I will reorganize and revise old strategies that don’t or won’t work and replace them with a new plethora of solid plans that come from both creative thinking and logic. I will be jumping out of the generational curses and unhealthy life cycles that have plagued my life by being an anchor to my success and happiness. I will be dropping bad habits, unhealthy choices and choosing to finally do the things that I need and want to do, for me.

I’ve swapped crowns and it already feels so good.

This is what my 2021 will consist of: forgiveness for myself and for others who've hurt me over the years, a fresh start, a holistic view and remodel of what it takes to be prepared and ready to open doors when opportunity comes knocking with no regrets.

I got this in 2021 and all the years to come.

goals
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About the Creator

Auntie Kay

When things go bad or good,

I write,

When things don't go as they should,

I write

When I want to change the past,

I write,

When I want to make moments last,

I write,

When I want to claim a loss as a win,

I write

It's just what I do my friend,

I WRITE

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