'Tis the Season!

Christmas in the time of Covid... oh, dear!

What a day, month, year! In all my years, I've never experienced something so hectic and so unsure. The fear of the unforeseeable future has kept me from living my life in many ways.

My son and I spend most of our time indoors while my husband still goes to work. I try to focus on what I'm grateful for. My family is healthy and safe, my husband still has a job, and Christmas cheer is magically in the air once more. Those are good things. They make me happy, but... things have still been so scary this year. I mean, what if something changes? This disease is so unpredictable...

Then, one day, it finally hit me!

Enough is enough!

I am NOT going to be controlled by fear anymore! I am NOT going to let this unfortunate disease and the horror attached to it rule my life! There are things I want and need for myself and my family. Our story is NOT done yet! We've barely started living for us to stop. There is so much more that is waiting for us and I'm not going to stop until our dreams can become a reality.

This revelation was, well... beautiful. I suddenly felt lighter, like a weight had just been lifted off of my chest. We're still going to be safe by washing our hands frequently, wearing a mask, and social distancing, but I'm not going to put my goals and my life on hold for something that 'might' or 'might not' happen. I'm not going to hinder myself for fear of the possibilities. That's no way to live and I've spent the better part of the year in that mindset. I'm done. I can't do it anymore. Being so sad and scared all the time isn't good for me or anyone else, honestly.

So, this is the mindful gifting that is put in place to help next year become great! To give the new year a chance for everything wonderful that this year forgot to be. To be full of love, laughter, and harmony.

Firstly, I had started this schooling created by women for women. It teaches you all about digital marketing and it's amazing. I'm learning so much. It's an extensive five-month program that teaches you damn near everything in the digital marketing world. I got a scholarship and a student loan and the money that I do have to spend is totally worth it! I should finish by next summer. This is a great gift to myself and my family because it allows me to work from home while taking care of my son and making a decent income at the same time. I'm very excited about how this all turns out. If anyone is interested in checking it out, here's the link: https://www.somervilleacademy.com/a/40387/Wf8BjF8u

and a different class my school offers: https://www.somervilleacademy.com/a/40386/Wf8BjF8u

Feel free to check them out. It has been an amazing journey so far and I think this is a great career to get into and I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

Next, I did all my shopping on Amazon! I love this platform! Even before Covid, this was a great place to go. I just did a little more because of this current predicament. Most of the sellers on there are small businesses just trying to get by and I'm happy to help.

I found some really cool homemade gift ideas online that I'm doing for loved ones. I'm not going to say exactly what they are on the chance that any family or friends of mine gander at this. But they are really cool and I'm so excited about them. Some of them are harder to make than others and with time running out I'm crossing my fingers and hoping that I can finish everything on time.

I think I can, though. How would I be able to finish everything in such a short while? "There are only ten days left, Skye..." I know, I know, but Christmas miracles do exist, right? And the other reason I have that is a very good one indeed is that I'm a superhero! No, really. My three-year-old son tells me all the time.

Now, our current living situation is the three of us renting a room in my landlords' house. It's a little cramped and a little uncomfortable, but it's affordable and I like the other people that live here. It's a pretty easy-going environment for the most part and that makes the size of our space seem okay. I actually don't mind it all that much, but I do want to get our own place next year so that my son has more space to roam around in. Anyway, my husband and I decided not to get a tree this year because we don't have much space. Then, randomly, my landlord asked if I'd want a tree in the house for my son and that he'd pay for it. He wanted us to pick it up too, which I was completely fine with. I was surprised and grateful. That was so sweet of him because, now, my son gets a Christmas that he deserves.

When we went to the Christmas tree lot, we took a look around and found the perfect one. This tree stood gloriously proud, just waiting for us, I suppose. Then, we walked up to the cashier counter and Santa comes walking out of the trees! We couldn't take Santa pictures of our son this year because everything was shut down, but there he was! He asked if we wanted pictures and we smiled big, putting our child in the sleigh next to Santa. We didn't have to pay, we just took them on our phone. Another Christmas miracle!

We decorated the tree with what we had and I'm awaiting the rest in the mail. Everything, even Amazon, seems to be pretty much sold out of ornaments. It seems that everybody just needed a little extra Christmas cheer this year. I understand fully. I want the world to heal and feel good. I don't mind not having a lot of decorations, especially if it means that it made someone else really happy. That's enough of a gift to me.

This weekend before Christmas we get to make gingerbread houses at my aunt's with the little ones. I can't wait! This year my son is at the age where the holidays are exciting for him. Everything leading up to Christmas seems to make him beam with joy. It's one of the greatest things to witness. Watching happiness engulf my child allows happiness to engulf me. Every. Single. Time. I'm sure every mommy out there can relate: My child's joy = my own joy. Smiling comes so naturally when I look at his handsome face or hear his laughter.

I'm determined to have a happy Christmas, but he makes it so much easier to do so. Christmas cheer is thick in the air.

Now, I have one more thing I'd like to mention that I am doing (or about to do). Remember how I said that I let Covid hinder me in a lot of ways this year? Well, there is one thing in particular that I let it stop me from achieving. This is the most important thing I'll mention (yep, I saved the best for last). There is so much scariness attached to this with or without covid in general. But, as I've stated, I don't want fear to control me or decide my life and how I'm going to live it. I'm done playing that stupid game. My husband and I decided that we're ready to have another baby. Yes, you read that right. A sibling for my son.

I was scared of covid for so long and going to the OB so frequently because of it. And I was so scared of losing another child. (I've experienced a stillbirth and a miscarriage. They both suck and it's hard to pick yourself up again.) I was scared of telling people right away if I got pregnant. There was this and that, this and that... it was all crippling. I don't want that anymore. I can't live like that. So, instead of being afraid, I'm being proud, open, honest, and focusing all my energy on everything working out. I'm telling all loved ones about my plans because I want their collective good vibes flowing my way. I think if I have all the support from all sides and everyone simultaneously rooting for our success, well, at that point, I think my chances are pretty good. I'm optimistic. I'm hopeful. I'm excited for what's to come.

No more fear. No more anger. No more ugly.

Just pure, unfiltered excitement!

And, that, my friends, is the most mindful gift I could give. The world is in some serious need of good energy, love, laughter, joy... me, proactively planning for a future that I see so vividly and deciding to love and laugh still. No matter what hardships have fallen upon us, I'm not allowing myself to be knocked down any longer.

I'll stay happy for you, Mother Earth, and I hope that others will follow suit. You deserve all the good vibes you can get and people consciously caring about you. Even if it's one person at a time.

Well, to all my readers: I hope you enjoyed what I had to say. Don't forget to love, laugh, and be the most amazing you that you can be. Covid doesn't have to define everything. Stay strong. Stay safe.

Now, thinking about Christmas makes me really want egg nog!

So long, my fellow humans.

Skye Marin