This One's for Me

This is not for you. This is for me. I'm writing my thoughts as they come and I will not go back to edit my thoughts. Edit to make them sound more impressive, more intelligent, more succinct, more gotchya!

Again, that was not for you. That was for me. I wrote that to keep myself accountable so I'd actually not go back and edit this, as I will (and already do) feel verrrry compelled to do.

This is a test. For me. Not you. A test to see if I can just let perfection go. Let go of the need to write something to get more clicks, reads, likes, tips.

I wanted to write this - for myself, not any kind of reader - because a question keeps popping back into my head, "How many followers do you have?" My answer to that question is not many by most "standards." A person asked me this question in response to my invitation to join my new business directory I created for makers who use reclaimed materials in their goods. I was inspired by this maker's use of used materials and I wanted to support them in a new and collaborative way.

I'm just getting going. I made the directory because I want more people to buy goods that repurpose stuff that already exists. I mean, it's a free directory. You just need to answer three simple questions. So the ask is small in my opinion.

When their reply to my invitation was "How many followers do you have?" my first instinct was, That's a fair question. I'm sure they are busy so they want to do things that are worth their time. On the other hand, I was getting some makers join my directory no questions asked. They simply saw it as an easy, fun, good intentioned way to get in front of more people who care about similar things.

That question keeps popping in my mind though. "How many followers do you have?" Honestly, this question has guided too many of my decisions lately. The amount of time I spent on social media to try and get more followers. Writing, rewriting, re-rewriting things for hours to say a thing in a way that I think will compel someone to follow me for it. Analysis paralysis from overthinking it. Not writing a blog or post because I second guess whether it will get more likes than my last one. Now, paralysis has stopped me from posting anything since December 6th, 2021. This pause in posting has caused me a combination of angst and relief.

Angst because how can I persuade someone who wants proof that I'm worth their time if I'm not growing my "followers." I can't grow followers if I'm not on social.

Relief because when I'm not on social, I'm doing other more enjoyable things, like making stuff, dreaming bigger and doing productive things for my business.

Then, this morning, that question popped in my head again, "How many followers do you have?" My response turned into "This isn't for you." My brain just flipped.

It's my choice. Instead of doing things I don't like doing to try to bring more and more people into my circle who may not even enjoy being in my circle, I want to spend more time making my current circle stronger, which I, intuitively, know will attract more people who care about the same things I do - doing better for people and planet.

So, I repeat - if you're still reading this - this is not for you. This is a written commitment for myself to stay focused on the activities and people I like most and not get distracted by the noise of follows, likes, views and visits.

Just because this is not for you, it does not mean I don't want you read it. Do it with me, won't you? It is always more fun to try new things together. Give me a buzz - whatever that means to you - and we can connect and learn from each other, for real.

...Accountability check: I did not go back to edit this story except for minor clarifying tweaks. Whew, that's scary...and freeing. It took a lot of mental energy not to rewrite. It's a great first step in my commitment to joy and doing things for me. Not you - with love.